Welcome to What The Hayley. I was sitting in the bathroom at work just now and I decided that I need to start a blog. Why? Here are my reasons:
1) I have a lot to say and think people might want to hear it
2) I can be pretty funny sometimes
3) One of my new years resolutions for 2012 is ‘to get published’ and here I am (does this count?)
A little about me that you might want to know….
I am a Mother (of 2 gorgeous little girls). Grew up on the South Shore of Long Island in a beach town with two older brothers – I think this is where I learned to be a cool chick. I love anything outdoors – biking, hiking, water sports – but my biggest love in life is Skiing (in Utah). I love my wine, dancing, partying, fun with friends, great food and amazing desserts(key to heart). I’ve had my own business for 10 years and we’re still standing strong. I love what I do and find it challenging every single day. I’m grounded, have incredible family values and embrace all that life has to offer. (I might throw up on myself now) Enough…. read my blog and you’ll learn more about me.
Before I forget, my funny story of the day is this….
As I mentioned, I was just in the bathroom – literally 3 minutes ago. It’s an office bathroom shared by my 12 employees and the legal offices across the hall from us. Every now and then, I’ll have to go so bad that I can’t be bothered to tear off a few strips of paper to line the seat so I’ll just sit.(i know, gross!!) Within seconds, I’m usually regretting it when I think of the overweight (i’m being nice since this is my first post) guy across the hall that might have put his ass down moments before me. Today, when I entered the bathroom my ‘I HAVE TO GO’ index was about a 4, leaving plenty of time to line the seat. (Tangent: Why the FUCK can’t men put the damn seat down. Thankful that we only have three in the office but I believe that not one of them ever considers it. I promise to focus on this in a future blog and even conduct interviews from my small sampling of the male species in my office to find out why). Back to the point… So as I was lining the seat, I noticed that in front of the bowl was a small puddle of what I have to assume was someone’s ‘MISS’, leading me to ponder how this happens. Either your stomach is so fat that you can’t see over it, your penis is so small that you have trouble aiming it or you just don’t give a fuck if you hit or miss. WTH!
wthayley 