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WT Honesty (in Parenting)

27 Apr


As parents, how often do we speak the truth about what goes on in our heads and behind closed doors.  Some live in towns where they don’t want to be labeled or judged by others so they keep the intimate details and personal thoughts all to themselves.  Me…. I’m an open book and although I do agree that my kids deserve the right to tell their own stories, until they are able, I will continue to be the mouthpiece sharing my (our) lives with the world.

In the essence of sharing, I thought it would be entertaining to highlight some of what I have personally been feeling this week about my awesome and not-so-awesome parenting moments.

On Monday, I wrote (posted on FB) about the kids off of school this week and how we should all try to take a moment and reset/enjoy some of the time with them rather than give into the stress of what it means to entertain or shuttle or occupy their time for the week – especially for those of us in our normal elements and not away on vacation.  In reflecting back on my life as a full-time working commuting mom, I realized or should I say I self-admitted that life was easier then during weeks like this one where I was working and not taking off.  I didn’t have to organize, plan and entertain.  I went to work and had an amazing nanny to do the dirty work.  In this realization, I also came to terms with the flip sides of that previous life.  Being a full-time, entrepreneur that works from home, life during a vacation week presents a whole new set of challenges.  Similar to the full-time, stay at home mom which is also a very difficult job, we have to balance these vacation days with work and responsibilities while trying to balance the kids’ schedules and the shuttling service.  I kept thinking, how the hell am I going to get any work done during the day?!?  And I felt tons of guilt for even feeling this way.

As I consider myself to be a master of time management, I still felt the pull of my kids wanting mommy time but knowing full well that mommy time means not mommy holding a cell phone, sitting at her laptop or with her head in her work.  So in putting my own challenge out to world on Monday, here’s where I am at 5 days into vacation.

I’ve accomplished and tried to squeeze a Life Lesson (LL) into each one:

  • Being fun mommy at least once a day for at least and hour or two.  LL: I’ve actually had a really fun time doing it.
  • Feeding kids cupcakes for breakfast (sorry Rabbi). LL: Even mommies crave sweet treats for breakfast but it feels better to start the day with a healthy choice.  The next day we had protein (Eggs and Bacon – sorry again Rabbi) for breakfast.
  • Playing dodgeball chasing them around the house. LL: Don’t shoot at the face. Don’t mess with a Navy Seal. They always win.
  • Giving in to dying their hair pink and purple (occupied about two – three hours and they were so excited the entire time that no energy or entertainment was needed on my part.  LL: hair color is temporary and can always wash out.  I told them both…. Don’t do anything to your hair or body that you can’t reverse – this is due to the fear my little one will want a real tattoo sooner than later.
  • Movie (Superhero) marathon all week long.  LL: Talked about how awesome girl superheroes are like Black Widow who can kick anyone’s ass. (I did use child appropriate language while explaining)

During vacation week, it’s ok to:

  • Feel the stress of the week and dread it
  • Still make time for yourself and your workout or manicure or whatever it is you do for yourself
  • Crave a cocktail before noon even if you’re not on a beach
  • Dump your kids on someone else for a few hours
  • Over-schedule them at back to back workshops or Unlimited Sports and then Parisi and then a play date
  • Hide:  I’m not really working, I’m in the basement avoiding you and your sister and your bickering about absolutely nothing

Here are a few things I’ve accepted this week:

  1. I’m a better mom after a workout.
  2. I’m more fun after two glasses of wine – this goes for non-vacation days as well.
  3. I could have handled many moments differently this week but we only have so much patience (I tend to think I have much less than most people).  I do make sure to apologize after I yell and explain how we both could have handled the situation differently.
  4. My kids are 6 and 8 and I need to accept that they don’t appreciate half the shit I do for them now but only hope they’ll appreciate it later in life.
  5. My kids like me a lot better when i’m a silly, goofy, funny, cool, non-mommy life figure.  Sorry kids, at the end of the day, I’m still your mother.

IMG_5700In a nutshell, being home during a vacation week is f’in hard and it’s ok to ride the rollercoaster of good mom, fun mom, mean mom, crazy mom, buzzed mom, happy mom and exhausted mom.   That’s what it’s all about, right?  We had kids so they could torture us like we tortured our parents but at the end of the day, those cute little animals make life a lot more fun and exciting and help us appreciate the little (and big) things in life that make us truly happy.

Enjoy the rest of your vacation week.


WT Moms

11 May

Screen Shot 2014-05-11 at 10.49.08 AMWe never get breaks
We rarely get a thanks
We operate like military
Without any special ranks

Endless nights of feedings
Potty training and bad dreams
Always offering a snuggle or kiss
To mend the broken seams

110% percent is given
Nothing less will suffice
A shoulder to lean or cry on
And always our best advice

We’re patient and understanding
We love unconditionally
But we also scold and punish
And sometimes put you over our knee (maybe not in today’s day and age)

We spend our days running
With a schedule like no other
We didn’t realize what was required
When we took the job titled “Mother”

But looking in those eyes
And seeing the love they feel
It fills your heart and wells up tears
‘Cause there is nothing that’s more real

Their little laughs and giggles
Make you smile with all your heart
In this play of life
I’ve chosen the very best part – “MOM”

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you out there.  I hope your day is filled with love, laughter and all the things that make you happy.  Thank you to my Mother who will always be my best friend, my biggest fan, my mentor and my savior.  I love you today and always and I am who I am all because of you.  Love you Momma.







WT Thankful

26 Nov


It’s been a while…. Sorry for being such a stranger.  I’ve written a bunch of posts that I just haven’t felt the need to publish.  However, tonight I was sitting with my daughters and we were talking about Thanksgiving approaching and I asked them what they were thankful for.  The answers were so sweet and adorable from the little one (4) and the older one (6) may have been trying to find the ‘right’ answer.  My youngest is thankful for: Ms. Jacklin and Marsha (her teachers), Evie and Lyla (her two best friends) and her toys.  My oldest was thankful for God (hopefully my Rabbi’s are reading this and are thinking about my wonderful influence) and for ‘the food we eat and the world so sweet’ (which is a song she learned at school).   They turned the question around to me and I told them that most of all, I’m thankful for them.  Feeling a little emotional that this will be the first time in 6 years that I will not be with them on Thanksgiving, I used the best possible outlet I could find and wrote this…..

My little angels
How I love you so
Those smiles and faces
And blue eyes that glow

My little angels
How I love thee
Your belly laughs
And huge personalities

My little angels
How you make me smile
Your adorable dimples
And your fashionable styles

My little angels
How you light up my soul
Your tender little kisses
And big hugs that console

My little angels
Never change your sweet ways
May you love and be loved
For all of your days

I’m also Thankful for all of you who read my nonsense, support my nonsense and come back for more.  You keep me writing… mostly about nothing but as long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

Wishing you and your families a wonderful holiday.
Love always,

WT Momma

8 May


Is there a better time of year than this to tell your mother how much she means to you, to thank her and to let her know that she is and always will be the most wonderful and important woman in your life.  While you’re at it, don’t forget to tell her how the lessons she has taught you have had a huge impact on who you are as a person.  Tell her how there are so many days that you reflect back on being a child or a kid or a teenager, and remembering how she handled certain situations, and that you use those memories for parenting your own children.  Make sure to thank her for all of support she gives you day in and day out.

I am the woman that feels the need to tell my mother everything.  It wasn’t always this way of course.  Back in the day, I thought I could hide things from her but as the saying goes… ‘Mother Always Knows’.  I couldn’t get away with a single thing in my house.  From sneaking out on a school night and going to Malibu Night Club so I could drink underage and grind with older guys on the dance floor, my mother always seemed to find a way to bust me.  She dragged me out of there by my Banana clip that night and took away my fake ID.  She also told the doorman on the way out that I was 16, which pretty much ruined my shot of returning in the near future.  Probably for the best.  I can still hear Tainted Love playing in the background on my way out.

My house always seemed to be the one people hung out at all the time (quite possibly due to the Central Air Conditioning and the comfort of 69 degrees on a hot summer day).  I remember the time when I was a Sr. in High School and a few of my girl friends and I were sitting around my kitchen table with my mom and we got onto the subject of sex.  She asked me if I was having sex with a guy friend of mine that I spent a lot of time with and I remember being shocked at the abruptness in which she just came out with it.  That was the first time I realized that she wasn’t asking to judge me or to lecture me, but more so because she just wanted to know and be involved in every aspect of my life.

Since then, she has always been the person I turn to first when I need a shoulder or advice or just to hear the soothing tone of her voice to put me at ease.  She is the person I call when I am looking for an honest answer…. there is no bullshit with her.  She tells it like it is.  (hmmm, no wonder where I get it from).  She is my rock, my strength and my sounding board.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her or speak to her, even just to tell her some silly little thing about my day.  She is the most beautiful person in the world, both inside and out and I couldn’t possibly love her more than I do.

So while my Hallmark card is in the mail, I realized that my mother deserves more than just a card to tell wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  This post is for you mom.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being my number one fan, for your unconditional and everlasting love and support of everything I do.  I’m the luckiest person in the world to have an amazing mother like you.   Happy Mother’s Day Momma.

WT Unplugged

2 Mar


Technology….. It seems like every day there is something new that people are talking about.  Yesterday, it was a new app called VINE.  (Check it out AFTER you read the rest of my blog post).  Vine is a new social media app that gives you :06 of video.  The conversation in my office went like this….

Young Employee: How cool is this new app called Vine but I don’t get it.  What on earth do I need a :06 video clip for.
Me: Well, when I had my first cell phone while most of you were still in diapers, I used to wonder why I would ever text a message as opposed to calling a friend.
Young Emp: Haha.  What did you have, one of those weird flip phones?
Me: Actually, no.  I had one of the first Motorola’s that weighed 15 lbs that you had to walk around with in a large case and single call cost something like $4.99.  And there was only one or two service providers.
Young Emp: That’s cool.  So you’re like an Influencer.
Me: Yeah, I guess you can say that instead of just calling me old.

I remember back in the day sitting in one of those expensive Marketing Seminars that the agency I worked at paid for and the speaker was talking about how one day, we will be watching TV, with a laptop on our laps and a cell phone in our hands and we will be multitasking.  I was thinking at the time, why the hell would anyone need that much technology all in one place.  Flash forward to a week ago while I was watching the Oscars.  I’ve got not only my laptop on my lap doing work and checking out some of the Red Carpet that I missed, but I’ve got my iPad so that I can tweet from my company account and my iPhone so that I can personally tweet.  I can’t imagine what life is going to be like when my kids get a little older.  Will there be no more conversation between people anymore?  Just tweeting and texting and living life as an interactive experience vs. actual physical contact?   Note to self: Future blog about digital dating.  Stay tuned.

I recently heard myself telling someone how well behaved my kids are in restaurants these days because I make sure to bring my iphone, my ipad and my daughters itouch.  I then realized how ridiculous that sounded.  They aren’t well behaved, they are zombies staring at screens.  However, it does keep them quiet and in their seats for most of the meal.  But what happened to the days when families used to gather around the dinner table to share stories about their days and connect with each other?  Have we lost that connection?  Texting or checking emails or tweeting while my kids are around doesn’t set a great example.  In no time, I will be telling them to put their electronics away while at the table so that I can hear about what’s going on in their lives but it should start now.  While placating them with technology while out to dinner certainly keeps me sane as a single mom, it’s setting a terrible example for my kids.   I encourage everyone to disconnect.   Holy Shit – did you know that today is National Unplugged Day?  Oopps.  Starting today, I promise to:
–Make more phone calls and send less texts and emails
–Put it down while my kids are around
–Don’t use technology to avoid live interaction
–Don’t use sexts in place of actual sex (even though it is super fun ;-))

I’m taking a pact to interact.



26 Sep

Happy New Year to all of my fellow MOT’s. For those of you who don’t know what MOT is – Members Of the Tribe or Fellow Jews. If you’re not a fellow Jew, HNY to you anyway – a few months early.

This time of year is especially hard for me. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur have always been a traditional time of year for my family and the time of year that my dad and I would sit in Shul together, his arm around me, snuggling close while I played with the fringes on his Tallis as he hummed to the music and pretended to know the words to all the songs. He would bob up and down and when it came to a word he knew, like Amen, he was as loud as ever. It was embarrassing when you’re 9 years old but thinking back on it now makes me smile. I still remember exactly where we used to sit in the Synagogue, same row every time, all the way to the far side so I’d have to walk length the room to get to him, avoiding eye contact with Rabbi Miller and Cantor Mendelson the entire time. I miss him every day, but during these days in temple, I miss him more than ever.

It’s sad how when our parents are alive we take for granted the time that we have with them. How often do you sit down with your parents and ask them questions about their youth or their life experiences. Have you ever sat and listened to your parents when they are talking to their peers and reminiscing about a memory from way back when? About 15 years ago, I decided that I wanted to learn more about my dad. He was 46 when he had me and while this doesn’t seem so old as I’m approaching 40, back then it was.

So I sat him down with a list of questions and asked him to give me the answers to them. And without hesitation he did. I sat with his answers for a while not really knowing what to do with it. I had always felt that my dad lived such an interesting life but little did I know how interesting it was. After almost 3 years of not having my dad around, I am so thankful that I got to know him on another level and took the time to do it. I feel his presence now more than ever and especially his divine intervention over the last few months. Don’t wait until you have a sick parent or until it’s too late to truly get to know your parents. Even if you think their life isn’t all that interesting, you’ll be amazed at what you might find out.  *I had started this post a few days ago and meant to post it before the holiday but didn’t get a chance.  Now I know why.  The President of my temple said a few words this morning about ‘Leaving our Footprints’ when we are no longer here.  This ties back so closely to what I was saying about our parents.  What is that people will say about you when you are no longer here. What do you want people to remember you for?  What, other than the basics, do you know about your parents from their past?  What is the story that you’ll be telling their grandchildren and great grandchildren in years to come?  The time to dig deeper into their lives is now, while they are still here.  It’s also a time to reflect on ourselves and in the words of Rabbi Z, to look at the road ahead at what we’d like to achieve in our lives and what we’d like people to remember us for.

Some of you may have already seen this because I posted it on FB after losing my dad. It’s the obituary that I read at his funeral. It pretty much sums him up (I’ll let you know when i finally get his biography published):


Hal is From….
A few months ago I was at a business event and was asked to participate in an exercise entitled ‘I am from’. It makes you think about your history and who you are because of what you came from. Over the last few days I’ve been reflecting about my father – who he was, what he meant to me and most importantly – where he was from. Many of you here today cover different decades of knowing my dad but I wanted to give you a little taste of where Hal is from. If he were to have written this about himself this is what he might have said:

I am from Herman and Irene – loving, devoted mother whose standards I held to when seeking out my own life partners. Hard working, Old Spice smelling, unaffectionate, and tough love giving father.

I am from fresh off the boat from Russia/Poland, the Bronxville section of Brooklyn, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Long Beach sand in my shoes and the 9th hole of the General at PGA. I am from Coney Island, Jacob Reese Park, weekends in the Catskills, sand dunes of Canarsie and Far Rockaway and Reynolds Channel.

I am from Duncan Yo-yo contests, checkers with Bottlecaps, Marbles, stick ball, street fights and dancing at the Paramount. From Benny Goodman, Glen Miller, Frank Sinatra and Red Buttons.

I am from chicken soup from scratch, Lilly’s Ruggalah, matzoh brie, grimmslich, Dim Sum – Temple Beth Shalom. I am from Zoot Suits, Bell Bottoms, Peatcoats. Palmade, Pompadors and Mustaches.

I am from the WWII, US Navy – boot camp in Sampson NY, stationed in Norman Oklahoma, tour in Guam, ending in Saipan. I am from a never-ending love of the water – from My Two Sons, Bulk Rate and Plane Folks. Summers in Fire Island, day trips to Short Beach and Wantagh State Park, Snug Harbor in Montauk NY. Epis. I am from conception on row-boats, snapper fishing on dingies and big eye tuna hunts on 37 ft Silvertons. I am from falling in love with airplanes at the age of 8, attending the Manhattan High School of aviation trades and 75 years later joining the RC Bush Pilots at the flying fields in West Palm.

I am from work – stuffing spices into envelopes in 1939, selling magazines and flowers, walking dogs, selling trades on Wall Street, the Garment Center, making donuts, printing at Metro, Foster Securities, Committeeman in the 18th district of Long Beach, Championship Show Dogs, Ancestral Land Company of Ireland, NuFoam, Fosters Gourmet Café, Gold Plated Golf Cards, Electrolux Salesman, Magnetic Bracelets, Hurricane Shutters and up until one week ago, Hurricane Shutter Windows. I am from never wanting to retire and never letting myself do it.

I am from two wives – married at 23 to Marilyn, mother of Ronnie, heart-wrenching loss after 18 years. I am from bachelorhood in my 40’s, from woman chasing me down the street with mattresses strapped to their backs only to find an amazing woman on a random blind date in 1969. I am from Susan – a second chance at love and life, my support system, beautiful both inside and out, iconic mother and devoted wife – even till the bitter end.

I am from a second family in London – Jimmy and Sadie – second parents, fun loving, hardworking, salt beef boiling, pastry making, American car driving in-laws. John, Sandra, Tracy, Rochelle, Jimmy and Simon.

I am from my children – Ronnie, Bradley and Hayley Beth. Speechless at what they have achieved, who they are and what they have become. Chef, Business Developer, Entrepreneurs – success. I am from Barbara, Melissa and Darin – my other three children where the term in-law never applied, always part of my family and forever a special place in my heart. I am from Uma, Pilara, Marley and Jackson – my four little princesses that gave me overwhelming joy, thousands of smiles and a reason to fight for my life these last few months. I am from to-know-me is to love me, short-tempered, selective hearing, tenacious, always doing it my way, roaring like a lion but soft as a pussycat. I am Proud and fulfilled and now I have moved on. I am from Forever.

In memory of my dad,  WTH

A Day of WTHayley

20 Jun


When people say “How was your day?”, do you ever really tell them how your day was or do you just give the typical response of “It was good”? Someone asked me this yesterday and it got me thinking about how my day really was and what it entailed. I then outlined my day in my head and thought I’d share this fun, slightly long, poem with you.

3am I hear a noise
Jack just tripped on all her toys
Getting up to make a pee
Once again, waking me
Back in bed and fall asleep
6am I hear a peep
The 4 yr old is getting up
She wants some milk in her cup
Leave me alone, I still have time
Milky Milky, she starts to wine
I stand my ground and make her wait
6:30 alarm, I can’t be late

Out of bed, shower and dress
Make the bed and clean the mess
Kids are playing, I make their beds
Brushes their teeth and comb their heads
Marley wants to wear a dress
It’s only 62, I try to stress
A dress she wants and starts to mope
I pick my battles to try and cope
Get them dressed and down the stairs
Pick out breakfast, “Get in your chairs”
Cereal for them and Coffee for me
My ride is here, kisses and leave

Get on train with my morning crew
Try to talk about something new
Open ipad, Words with Friends
This fucking game, it never ends
Need new Blog, I start to write
Writers Block, I’ll try tonight

Get to Penn and begin my stroll
Pick up ‘Bucks and Egg on Roll
Get to office, first one there
Eat my food, fix my hair
Check my email, lots of spam
Another client in a Jam
Make some calls and start the day
Check my Facebook, then music I play

Meetings, meetings back to back
Ugh, so glad I packed a snack
Status meeting starts at One
Another meeting, need to run
Tell the staff to do their work
Get on phone and yell at Jerk
3:00 I’m feeling beat
Holy shit, I forgot to eat
Finish work to catch the 5pm
Running late, Rush to Penn
Find a seat and hitch a ride
Home to girls, smiles so wide

Play some games, read some books
Dress up time with fancy looks
Brush their teeth and make them Pee
If not, 3am, Jack i’ll see
Tuck them into their warm beds
Give them kisses on their heads
Read 3 books and still want more
Good night moon or Fancy Nancy’s galore
7:30 – Kids in bed and lights are dim
Change my clothes and head to gym
Treadmill, stairs and lift some weight
Ugh, I’m tired, it’s getting late
Need to hit the Stop and Shop
Out of juice and Ice Pop
9:00 – Make some dinner, clean the dish
No work emails? Yeah right, I wish

Pack kids lunches, shower and shave
Jacks out of bed, she doesn’t behave
Back to compter, make To-Do list
Now Marley’s up, I’m getting pissed
Finally they’re down and out
I’m getting sleepy, and worn out
11:30 – Get in bed for 30 Rock
Don’t forget to set the clock
Head on pillow, hit the hay
And wake tomorrow for another day.


TGFM – Thank G-d For Monday

2 Apr

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about as my second ‘coming-out’ blog post.  Well, today provided me with some good amunition (I said good, not great, so don’t let this one deter you from ‘Following Me’).

I spent a lovely evening in the city last night for a friends 40th birthday.  The party started at 7pm and by 10:30 we were getting kicked out of the party room for the next party to set up. (That’s when the people in their 20’s rented the place out – depressing, eh?)  Knowing that Sunday was going to be a day of full on ‘motherhood’ with no help, no breaks in the action, no back up or quiet time, I decided to be a responsible adult/mother and convinced myself around 10pm that I should stop with the cocktails and have an early night.

While blissfully enjoying my heightened anabolic state, I was jolted awake at 4am by my ‘needing to use the potty’ 2 yr old, followed by a 6:30 wake up from my 4 yr old wondering ‘mommy, is it too early to ask you to use your iPad’. (Side bar: my 4 yr old will stand next to the bed breathing loudly and making little noises until you ‘wake up on your own’ to her face so close to yours that it literally scares the shit out of me every time)  So much for a restful night.  The day didn’t get much better – crankiness, tantrums, excessive snacking – and then there were my kids.

I finally had enough, put the kids to bed early, poured myself a glass of wine, turned the laundry over and sat down on the couch to snuggle up with the last chapter of  my favorite BDSM character, Christian Grey.  (For those of you who are living in a bubble and have not yet heard of the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James – Christian is the heat-in-the-sheets in many women’s bedrooms these days.  And there was no way I could possibly make another post without mentioning him).   Needless to say, I didn’t get through the first line when I hear the little one at the top of the stairs crying for me.  I emerge to find her soaked in peepee from head to toe, bed saturated and her favorite blankie in desperate need of a spin cycle.   Can’t wait to get back to work tomorrow.   Thank g-d for Monday.  WTH!

What The Hayley

22 Mar

Welcome to What The Hayley.  I was sitting in the bathroom at work just now and I decided that I need to start a blog.  Why?  Here are my reasons:

1) I have a lot to say and think people might want to hear it

2) I can be pretty funny sometimes

3) One of my new years resolutions for 2012 is ‘to get published’ and here I am (does this count?)

A little about me that you might want to know….
I am a Mother (of 2 gorgeous little girls).  Grew up on the South Shore of Long Island in a beach town with two older brothers – I think this is where I learned to be a cool chick.  I love anything outdoors – biking, hiking, water sports – but my biggest love in life is Skiing (in Utah).  I love my wine, dancing, partying, fun with friends, great food and amazing desserts(key to heart).  I’ve had my own business for 10 years and we’re still standing strong.  I love what I do and find it challenging every single day.  I’m grounded, have incredible family values and embrace all that life has to offer. (I might throw up on myself now)  Enough…. read my blog and you’ll learn more about me.

Before I forget, my funny story of the day is this….
As I mentioned, I was just in the bathroom – literally 3 minutes ago.  It’s an office bathroom shared by my 12 employees and the legal offices across the hall from us.  Every now and then, I’ll have to go so bad that I can’t be bothered to tear off a few strips of paper to line the seat so I’ll just sit.(i know, gross!!)  Within seconds, I’m usually regretting it when I think of the overweight (i’m being nice since this is my first post) guy across the hall that might have put his ass down moments before me.   Today, when I entered the bathroom my ‘I HAVE TO GO’ index was about a 4, leaving plenty of time to line the seat.  (Tangent: Why the FUCK can’t men put the damn seat down.  Thankful that we only have three in the office but I believe that not one of them ever considers it.  I promise to focus on this in a future blog and even conduct interviews from my small sampling of the male species in my office to find out why).  Back to the point…  So as I was lining the seat, I noticed that in front of the bowl was a small puddle of what I have to assume was someone’s ‘MISS’, leading me to ponder how this happens.  Either your stomach is so fat that you can’t see over it, your penis is so small that you have trouble aiming it or you just don’t give a fuck if you hit or miss.  WTH!