Tag Archives: Life

WT Honesty (in Parenting)

27 Apr


As parents, how often do we speak the truth about what goes on in our heads and behind closed doors.  Some live in towns where they don’t want to be labeled or judged by others so they keep the intimate details and personal thoughts all to themselves.  Me…. I’m an open book and although I do agree that my kids deserve the right to tell their own stories, until they are able, I will continue to be the mouthpiece sharing my (our) lives with the world.

In the essence of sharing, I thought it would be entertaining to highlight some of what I have personally been feeling this week about my awesome and not-so-awesome parenting moments.

On Monday, I wrote (posted on FB) about the kids off of school this week and how we should all try to take a moment and reset/enjoy some of the time with them rather than give into the stress of what it means to entertain or shuttle or occupy their time for the week – especially for those of us in our normal elements and not away on vacation.  In reflecting back on my life as a full-time working commuting mom, I realized or should I say I self-admitted that life was easier then during weeks like this one where I was working and not taking off.  I didn’t have to organize, plan and entertain.  I went to work and had an amazing nanny to do the dirty work.  In this realization, I also came to terms with the flip sides of that previous life.  Being a full-time, entrepreneur that works from home, life during a vacation week presents a whole new set of challenges.  Similar to the full-time, stay at home mom which is also a very difficult job, we have to balance these vacation days with work and responsibilities while trying to balance the kids’ schedules and the shuttling service.  I kept thinking, how the hell am I going to get any work done during the day?!?  And I felt tons of guilt for even feeling this way.

As I consider myself to be a master of time management, I still felt the pull of my kids wanting mommy time but knowing full well that mommy time means not mommy holding a cell phone, sitting at her laptop or with her head in her work.  So in putting my own challenge out to world on Monday, here’s where I am at 5 days into vacation.

I’ve accomplished and tried to squeeze a Life Lesson (LL) into each one:

  • Being fun mommy at least once a day for at least and hour or two.  LL: I’ve actually had a really fun time doing it.
  • Feeding kids cupcakes for breakfast (sorry Rabbi). LL: Even mommies crave sweet treats for breakfast but it feels better to start the day with a healthy choice.  The next day we had protein (Eggs and Bacon – sorry again Rabbi) for breakfast.
  • Playing dodgeball chasing them around the house. LL: Don’t shoot at the face. Don’t mess with a Navy Seal. They always win.
  • Giving in to dying their hair pink and purple (occupied about two – three hours and they were so excited the entire time that no energy or entertainment was needed on my part.  LL: hair color is temporary and can always wash out.  I told them both…. Don’t do anything to your hair or body that you can’t reverse – this is due to the fear my little one will want a real tattoo sooner than later.
  • Movie (Superhero) marathon all week long.  LL: Talked about how awesome girl superheroes are like Black Widow who can kick anyone’s ass. (I did use child appropriate language while explaining)

During vacation week, it’s ok to:

  • Feel the stress of the week and dread it
  • Still make time for yourself and your workout or manicure or whatever it is you do for yourself
  • Crave a cocktail before noon even if you’re not on a beach
  • Dump your kids on someone else for a few hours
  • Over-schedule them at back to back workshops or Unlimited Sports and then Parisi and then a play date
  • Hide:  I’m not really working, I’m in the basement avoiding you and your sister and your bickering about absolutely nothing

Here are a few things I’ve accepted this week:

  1. I’m a better mom after a workout.
  2. I’m more fun after two glasses of wine – this goes for non-vacation days as well.
  3. I could have handled many moments differently this week but we only have so much patience (I tend to think I have much less than most people).  I do make sure to apologize after I yell and explain how we both could have handled the situation differently.
  4. My kids are 6 and 8 and I need to accept that they don’t appreciate half the shit I do for them now but only hope they’ll appreciate it later in life.
  5. My kids like me a lot better when i’m a silly, goofy, funny, cool, non-mommy life figure.  Sorry kids, at the end of the day, I’m still your mother.

IMG_5700In a nutshell, being home during a vacation week is f’in hard and it’s ok to ride the rollercoaster of good mom, fun mom, mean mom, crazy mom, buzzed mom, happy mom and exhausted mom.   That’s what it’s all about, right?  We had kids so they could torture us like we tortured our parents but at the end of the day, those cute little animals make life a lot more fun and exciting and help us appreciate the little (and big) things in life that make us truly happy.

Enjoy the rest of your vacation week.


WT Happy Birthday To Me

15 Nov
While I promised to inundate you with my impending milestone, I feel I’ve fallen a little short the last few weeks.  Sorry, but as most of you know, Storm Sandy no power and a NorEaster put a little damper on things.  I’m am not going to complain about a week with no power and a cancelled trip to Puerto Rico while others have dealt and are dealing with so much worse.  Among the devastation in my home town of Long Beach and many other places that were hit hard, I have seen such camaraderie and an outpouring of love and support for those in need.  It speaks wonders about the human spirit.  Neighbors helping neighbors and better yet, strangers helping strangers.  (However, had we been treating our planet with such love over the last hundred years, we may not be seeing the weather do what it has been doing.  But, I’m not about to go all GREEN on you – i’ll save that for another WTH)
On a day when the love is pouring in from all corners of the world, I couldn’t feel more blessed and grateful. Moving into the next decade of my life, I am fortunate to have found such amazing friends, lots of new and some dating back 30, even 40 years.  I am so lucky to have, and to remember, so many of the great times I’ve had in my life (along with many nights I dont remember so vividly and a small handful of those I’d like to forget).  I have no regrets, only experiences that have made me stronger.
I view my milestone of 40 as a new chapter in what I hope to be a very long book of life.  I’ve set new goals, have new dreams and look forward to what’s to come.  And during it all, I hope to continue to entertain you all with my writing, make new friends and fans and eventually take it to another level.
If you’re a fan, you may have recently read WT Hal.  The exercise I used to write his Eulogy was something I had done for myself as well and thought that it would be nice to share it with you, to get a little more insight into who I am, as if you don’t have enough already.
 I am from Susan and Hal – iconic-mother, best friend, mentor, savior, tour guide of life and love; whom I can’t image a day without.   Father figure, influencer of who I have become professionally, business coach, building block and foundation and man who I compare every other to – for both good and bad.

 I am from a tight knit family no matter the distance, no matter the continent.  From brotherly love I wouldn’t trade for anything, for whom I would give and do anything and love whole-heartedly and unconditionally. 

 I am from sharing and caring, treat others how you’d want to be treated, if you make a funny face and the wind blows it will be stuck that way, shit on a shingle, bloody hell, g-d give me strength, work hard play hard, don’t judge a book by its cover, beauty is only skin deep, don’t forget to call your mother and be home for supper.

 I am from Atari’s frogger, pitfall, Donkey Kong and Nintendo’s Super Mario Brothers.  I am from Black and White TV’s, Rabbit ear antennas and Cable scrambler boxes.  I am from summers of boats, beaches and sleepaway camps and winters of ski trips, snow forts and snowball fights.  I am from riding boardwalks and riding mountains and riding the roller coaster of life. I am from home cooked meals 7 days a week, family vacations, the ice cream man, playing till dusk and up at dawn. From Chicken soup, Matzoh brie and Grimlisch.  From traditions, morals and values that are daily reflections of the past and the goals to achieve for the future. 

 I am from don’t sit on your ass, go get a job.  From newspaper routes, babysitting, summer concessions, the ice rink, the yogurt parlour, office assistant, metro seliger, wells rich green, grey, organic and Verge.  I am from success and entrepreneurs.

 I am from life long friendships, unbroken bonds and everlasting memories.  I am from HADIM.  I am from Brooklyn via Russia/Poland meets Long Island via England.  I am from a blind date gone right.  I am from Long Beach, Montauk, Shandaken, Hartford, NYC, Utah and PW.

 I am from daily challenges that make me stronger, from testing of wills and making concessions, from loving and losing but finding strength and respect to work together.

 I am from my children.  My angels, my light, my purpose, a piece of my heart and soul, my reasons for being that takes my breath away.   I am now from Goodnight Moon, Elmo, Dora and Diego, Kai Lan and Mickey Mouse.  I am from Ice cream covered noses and chins, long beach sand in little tiny crevasses, snow angels, runny noses and scraped up knees with tasty salty little tears.

 I am from lucky – to have what I have, to be who I have become and to see clearly who and where I am going next.  I am from ME.

Thank you all for reading and supporting my new found love for writing.
Much more to come from WTHayley.


22 Aug

As I’m getting closer to 40 (trust me this is not the last you will hear about my impending milestone), I have to say I feel more and more that age is irrelevant.  I don’t feel almost-40 and I don’t think I look almost-40 (no comments on this please – I like living in denial).  Is it that we don’t see ourselves as our age or that because we surround ourselves with our peers, we don’t notice our age as much.  (Then again I work in an office with all 20-somethings but still feel like they are my peers).  Either way, my mentality for the next few months is F-40!!!!!

  • Age is just a number
  • You are only as old as you feel
  • Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are wine or cheese.

Last weekend while getting a trim in Roslyn at Salon Rock (this is a plug by the way), I was getting chatted up by the sweet and sexy Carlos the Columbian(not sure if this is his real name but that’s what I’m calling him to protect the innocent).  During our discussion about my plans for the weekend he asked me in the sweetest way possible ‘How Young Are You?’. Since I’m so quick witted, I responded with I’m 39 years young.  Suffice to say, he loved my retort and so began our intense discussion about age.

He was curious to know ‘how long do you plan on living’?  What?  Something I’ve never pondered before I jumped the gun and quickly said 80, later realizing SHIT, I’m half way there, something Don Juan also pointed out.   He compared my life to that of a motor vehicle stating, ‘if you buy a car and you know you’re going to have it for 20 years, after 10 years, knowing you’ve got 10 more years, how are you going to treat that car’?  Good fucking point.  And I totally agree.  I preach all the time that you need to ‘treat your body well and it will treat you well’.  It’s not every day we consider what our body automatically does for us without any effort.  All it needs is to be loved and cared for (and greased and oiled from time to time) and it will continue to do for you.  Too often we take things for granted  and most often we take our bodies for granted.  We abuse it with sun, bad food, chemicals, alcohol and lots of other crap we don’t even know we are putting into it.  Take a day or two and appreciate what it does for you and do something nice for it.  I didn’t mean to go off on another WTHealthy tangent but hopefully I gave you a little food for thought.

As the b-day gets closer, I’ll be reflecting on all of the amazing things I’ve done thus far in my life and all the things I’m putting on my bucket list for the years to come (promise to share at a later date).   I’m incredibly thankful for all the people that have come into and gone out of my life and for the memories we’ve had along the way.  Whether you’re 30, 40 or 50 we’ve all got one life to live – live happy!

As Oscar Wilde once said, “Experience is the name we give to our mistakes” or Abraham Lincoln – “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years”.

In the words of WTH, I’m not turning 40 – I’m 18 with 22 years of experience.  I’m sure I’ve just stolen someone else’s line but…..


Free Refills

11 Jul

Why is it more people have not heard of this phrase?  I’d love to give a shout out to the person that introduced me to it but for the life of me, I can’t remember.  If you want to stake your claim, feel free to do so in the comment section of this post.  I’m happy to give credit where credit is due.

Let me explain.  A friend was sharing a story the other morning on the train about a girl that had claimed she had sex with him in college.  The guy on the other hand, was 100% certain that he had never touched her.  Not because she was ugly or anything – it just never happened.  As a side not, I’m not quite sure what girl claims to have sex with someone she actually never had sex with – like a self proclaimed slut – Weirder?   Anyway, this guy runs into the girl again a few years later – he’s single/she’s single.  Uh-huh!!!!  He’s thinking… this should be easy – she already thinks she had sex with me so either she wants to ‘fulfill the lie’ or she enjoyed it so much in her imagination that she’ll want it again.  So I said ‘Ha, who doesn’t want a free refill???‘  CRICKETS.  Nobody, among the 6 person train crew, knew WTH a free refill was, so I explained….

FREE REFILL – having intercourse with someone you’ve already intercoursed with.
Explanation: You don’t have to count it again.  Not another ‘notch on your belt’, ‘name on your list’, whatever you call want to call it.  It’s a repeat, a do-over, a freebie – hence, it’s a Free Refill.

The train crew loved it so much that they felt I should share my catch phrase with the rest of the world (or my 150 FB fans).  I’m not sure Free Refills are that big of a deal these days but the older you get, the harder they are to find.


P.S. Stay Tuned…. Tough Mudder is on Saturday.  I’ll be Tweeting up a storm pre and post race.  Not sure my phone will make it through the mud.  If you don’t currently follow me, you can start now by clicking this link: https://twitter.com/hayleybyer