Tag Archives: love

WT Brotherly Love

29 Apr

When I was pregnant with my second child and found out I was having another girl, a little piece of me was sad that my older daughter wouldn’t grow up with a brother.  Having a brother was the only sibling relationship I knew and I worried about the sister rivalry that might occur.  More importantly though, was the loss of not having the brotherly figure in her life.  From the time I was a little girl, all I ever wanted, was to be ‘cool’ like my big brother.  He had a paper route, I wanted a paper route.  He knew how to ski, I wanted to know how to ski.  He liked Led Zeppelin and Beastie Boys, I wanted to like Led Zeppelin and Beastie Boys.  He smoked weed, I wanted to smoke weed.   He was a pervert, I wanted to…..  Some might say that I am who I am because of his influence.

To know my brother is to know me and vise versa.   I often tell people that he’s me, except he has a penis (and some body hair).  We have a relationship that not many siblings have with each other and one that during the years of beating the shit out of each other, I never imagined we would have.  But my mother always used to say, one day you will love each other and be best friends.  YEAH RIGHT!  Well… of course, mother is always right.

I’m not sure when it actually started – maybe sometime around 5th grade when he thought it would be cool if I dated his girlfriends little brother so we could go on a double date together to go see The Outsiders.  By the time we got to High School he accepted that I wanted to go to the same parties with him and drink Old ‘E,  dive down flights of stairs, other stuff I wont mention and watch reruns of Pink Floyd’s The Wall.  My parents trusted him with my life, for some odd reason, and left us alone for 3 weeks while they travelled to Spain.  Needless to say, we spent all of our spending money on the way home from dropping them at JFK and then proceeded to fill our house with paraphernalia and party for the next three weeks.  I’m actually shocked we ever made it to school during that time and that all of our friends (most notably Stein) made it out alive.

One of the saddest days of my teenage years was when he decided he was heading out west to finish up his last two years of college (which actually took him another 4 years and graduating 2 weeks after I did).  I ate tubs of ice cream and played Going to California by Zeppelin over and over and over again for weeks.  It was a breakup like no other.  But even 3,000 miles couldn’t put a damper on our relationship.  Visits to the Del Mar apartment, San Diego Zoo, Board and Brew, Concerts at SDSU, Los Gatos, road trips to LA and many many more awesome times were had.

By far, 41 years is the longest relationship with a man that I have ever had… and we are closer now than ever.  We only get to see each other and get our 4 girls together a few times a year, but the trips are priceless and we make the most out of them with visits to electronics stores, home depot and some other place to get some other part to try and fix some other thing.  He’s the only person that could convince me to give up meat for a year and I’m probably the only person that could convince him to do a Tough Mudder.

Today he turns 44 and while I know he’s aware of how much I truly  admire, adore, support, trust and love him, I wanted to share with everyone else.  Although he is not perfect by any means (no man is for that matter), he’s the most amazing brother any girl could ever ask for.

I love you B.  Happy happy happy birthday.  Wish I was there.

Collage

WTHayley

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WT Cupid

14 Feb

Why is it that Valentine’s day is about flowers and chocolates and romantic gestures?  These are things that make most people, not just women, happy 365 days a year.  Don’t wait for February 14th to go out of your way to show your significant other that you love them.  On a day that has been touted as a Hallmark holiday and one that men all over the world dread, here are a few thoughts on making not just today special but practices that we should try to incorporate into our daily lives as much as possible.

Giving.  It doesn’t have to be a $150 bouquet of long stem roses or a box of decadent chocolates. I recently gave someone half a bag of Dove chocolates (I kept the other half) and every time we opened one, we sent the other person the sweet message that was under the wrapper.  The sentiment lasted for weeks and those little love messages were even better than the smooth creamy chocolate inside.

dove

Partnership.  One of the biggest things I’ve learned in marriage and in being an Entrepreneur is that if your partner isn’t a partner, then you are better off going at it alone.  Everyone could use an extra ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, another set of hands.  Not just when it comes to work but also when it comes to a relationship.  Know your partner – how to speak to them, how to listen to them, how to react to them and most importantly, understand them and what they need from you as their partner.   Last year I wrote about the 5 Languages of Love – look them up, figure out what your partner is and learn to speak their language.  Thank me later.

Respect.  The way you speak to each other and treat each other…. alone and when other people are around…. says so much about your level of respect for each other. Treat each other the way you want your kids to treat other people.  And remember that your actions speak a lot louder than your words.

Adoration.  Remember in the beginning of your relationship when you truly went out of your way to make your new love feel special and loved.  You may have sent them sweet notes, walked their dog for them, shoveled their driveway or picked up the phone in the middle of a chaotic day just to say hi and hear their voice.    Maybe you had a cute name for them like pookie or cupcake or baby.  Start again… let them know you adore them with little gestures….. use your pet name for them again if you haven’t in a while, leave them a little love letter.  It will bring back memories of the early days and maybe create a new spark.

Screen Shot 2014-02-14 at 11.18.28 PM(card courtesy of http://www.elumdesigns.com)

Reflect.  Granted we were a lot younger and dumber back in the 80’s and early 90’s when it came to relationships but remember when you didn’t have a cell phone in your hand 24/7?  Remember how you had to communicate when you couldn’t send a text and you actually had to call someone and talk to them with the spoken word?  We are all busy these days and caught up with our phones, computer and ipads and the endless amount of shows we have access to thanks to Netflix and AppleTv. Try to take a few hours a week (I initially wrote day instead of week and then realized how much that would be asking) without technology and focus on the person in your life without the constant interruptions.  Enjoy the moment that you’re in without having to share it with the world on a social media channel.

Happy Valentine’s Day from WTHayley

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WT Thankful

26 Nov

thankful34

It’s been a while…. Sorry for being such a stranger.  I’ve written a bunch of posts that I just haven’t felt the need to publish.  However, tonight I was sitting with my daughters and we were talking about Thanksgiving approaching and I asked them what they were thankful for.  The answers were so sweet and adorable from the little one (4) and the older one (6) may have been trying to find the ‘right’ answer.  My youngest is thankful for: Ms. Jacklin and Marsha (her teachers), Evie and Lyla (her two best friends) and her toys.  My oldest was thankful for God (hopefully my Rabbi’s are reading this and are thinking about my wonderful influence) and for ‘the food we eat and the world so sweet’ (which is a song she learned at school).   They turned the question around to me and I told them that most of all, I’m thankful for them.  Feeling a little emotional that this will be the first time in 6 years that I will not be with them on Thanksgiving, I used the best possible outlet I could find and wrote this…..

My little angels
How I love you so
Those smiles and faces
And blue eyes that glow

My little angels
How I love thee
Your belly laughs
And huge personalities

My little angels
How you make me smile
Your adorable dimples
And your fashionable styles

My little angels
How you light up my soul
Your tender little kisses
And big hugs that console

My little angels
Never change your sweet ways
May you love and be loved
For all of your days

I’m also Thankful for all of you who read my nonsense, support my nonsense and come back for more.  You keep me writing… mostly about nothing but as long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

Wishing you and your families a wonderful holiday.
Love always,
WTHayley

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WT Momma

8 May

Momma

Is there a better time of year than this to tell your mother how much she means to you, to thank her and to let her know that she is and always will be the most wonderful and important woman in your life.  While you’re at it, don’t forget to tell her how the lessons she has taught you have had a huge impact on who you are as a person.  Tell her how there are so many days that you reflect back on being a child or a kid or a teenager, and remembering how she handled certain situations, and that you use those memories for parenting your own children.  Make sure to thank her for all of support she gives you day in and day out.

I am the woman that feels the need to tell my mother everything.  It wasn’t always this way of course.  Back in the day, I thought I could hide things from her but as the saying goes… ‘Mother Always Knows’.  I couldn’t get away with a single thing in my house.  From sneaking out on a school night and going to Malibu Night Club so I could drink underage and grind with older guys on the dance floor, my mother always seemed to find a way to bust me.  She dragged me out of there by my Banana clip that night and took away my fake ID.  She also told the doorman on the way out that I was 16, which pretty much ruined my shot of returning in the near future.  Probably for the best.  I can still hear Tainted Love playing in the background on my way out.

My house always seemed to be the one people hung out at all the time (quite possibly due to the Central Air Conditioning and the comfort of 69 degrees on a hot summer day).  I remember the time when I was a Sr. in High School and a few of my girl friends and I were sitting around my kitchen table with my mom and we got onto the subject of sex.  She asked me if I was having sex with a guy friend of mine that I spent a lot of time with and I remember being shocked at the abruptness in which she just came out with it.  That was the first time I realized that she wasn’t asking to judge me or to lecture me, but more so because she just wanted to know and be involved in every aspect of my life.

Since then, she has always been the person I turn to first when I need a shoulder or advice or just to hear the soothing tone of her voice to put me at ease.  She is the person I call when I am looking for an honest answer…. there is no bullshit with her.  She tells it like it is.  (hmmm, no wonder where I get it from).  She is my rock, my strength and my sounding board.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her or speak to her, even just to tell her some silly little thing about my day.  She is the most beautiful person in the world, both inside and out and I couldn’t possibly love her more than I do.

So while my Hallmark card is in the mail, I realized that my mother deserves more than just a card to tell wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  This post is for you mom.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being my number one fan, for your unconditional and everlasting love and support of everything I do.  I’m the luckiest person in the world to have an amazing mother like you.   Happy Mother’s Day Momma.

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Free Refills

11 Jul

Why is it more people have not heard of this phrase?  I’d love to give a shout out to the person that introduced me to it but for the life of me, I can’t remember.  If you want to stake your claim, feel free to do so in the comment section of this post.  I’m happy to give credit where credit is due.

Let me explain.  A friend was sharing a story the other morning on the train about a girl that had claimed she had sex with him in college.  The guy on the other hand, was 100% certain that he had never touched her.  Not because she was ugly or anything – it just never happened.  As a side not, I’m not quite sure what girl claims to have sex with someone she actually never had sex with – like a self proclaimed slut – Weirder?   Anyway, this guy runs into the girl again a few years later – he’s single/she’s single.  Uh-huh!!!!  He’s thinking… this should be easy – she already thinks she had sex with me so either she wants to ‘fulfill the lie’ or she enjoyed it so much in her imagination that she’ll want it again.  So I said ‘Ha, who doesn’t want a free refill???‘  CRICKETS.  Nobody, among the 6 person train crew, knew WTH a free refill was, so I explained….

FREE REFILL – having intercourse with someone you’ve already intercoursed with.
Explanation: You don’t have to count it again.  Not another ‘notch on your belt’, ‘name on your list’, whatever you call want to call it.  It’s a repeat, a do-over, a freebie – hence, it’s a Free Refill.

The train crew loved it so much that they felt I should share my catch phrase with the rest of the world (or my 150 FB fans).  I’m not sure Free Refills are that big of a deal these days but the older you get, the harder they are to find.

-WTH

P.S. Stay Tuned…. Tough Mudder is on Saturday.  I’ll be Tweeting up a storm pre and post race.  Not sure my phone will make it through the mud.  If you don’t currently follow me, you can start now by clicking this link: https://twitter.com/hayleybyer

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