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WT Happiness

20 May

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Today is my day to post in the happiness group about how you can foster your level of happiness.  I read Cheryl Sandberg’s commencement speech to Berkley this morning while sitting in my physical therapy appointment.   She addressed the students, not with her lessons in life but her lessons in death.  While dealing with her bereavement at the loss of her husband more than a year ago, she learned some incredible lessons that I think we all take for granted.

One of the biggest things I took away from her words were:  ‘Think about how much worse things could be’.  That’s the reality check we all need in life.  Perplexed, she responded to her friend saying ‘Are you kidding, how much worse could they be?’ and his response was ‘Your children could have been in the car with your husband when he had his Arrhythmia’.  When we think about life being worse, our minds move into the mode of ‘grateful’ and ‘appreciation’ for what we have, not what we don’t have.  While I was annoyed to be spending an hour of my morning sitting in PT as opposed to working out and sweating at the Crossfit gym, I took some of Cheryl’s advice.  IT COULD BE WORSE!  I could have torn my shoulder as opposed to just overusing it.  I would have had 6 months of PT as opposed to the mere 6 weeks (which are thankfully almost done).  And I still can work every muscle in my lower body which is what burns the most calories anyway.   Research has proven time and time again that people who find gratitude and appreciation are more resilient and are happier and healthier.

If you’ve seen any of my recent ‘family’ Facebook posts, you’ve seen the new friend that I’ve made with my future step-sons mother.  Brian and I have been together for over 2 years now and it’s taken us a while to get here but she needed time.  Time to realize that ‘things could be worse’… I could be worse.  I could be mean and nasty and uncooperative.  But i’m not.  I’m loving and forgiving and kind.  And no matter how long it took her to be come around, I was waiting with open arms and a smile to embrace her, befriend her and partner with her in the co-parenting of her son.

So next time you’re feeling down, or sad or hurting… just think about how much worse it could be and then write down or make a mental note of the things you are truly grateful for and the things you appreciate in your life.  Better yet, start a journal and write them down so when you tend to forget, you can look back and remind yourself.  #choosehappiness #itcouldbeworse

If you’d like to join our next Happiness Group event (it’s free and open to ANYONE), click here for more information: https://www.facebook.com/events/1285732538121063/

A link to the full article on Sheryl’s Commencement Speech:  http://www.businessinsider.com/sheryl-sandberg-berkeley-commencement-speech-2016-5

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WT Cupid

14 Feb

WT Cupid.

WT Cupid

14 Feb

Why is it that Valentine’s day is about flowers and chocolates and romantic gestures?  These are things that make most people, not just women, happy 365 days a year.  Don’t wait for February 14th to go out of your way to show your significant other that you love them.  On a day that has been touted as a Hallmark holiday and one that men all over the world dread, here are a few thoughts on making not just today special but practices that we should try to incorporate into our daily lives as much as possible.

Giving.  It doesn’t have to be a $150 bouquet of long stem roses or a box of decadent chocolates. I recently gave someone half a bag of Dove chocolates (I kept the other half) and every time we opened one, we sent the other person the sweet message that was under the wrapper.  The sentiment lasted for weeks and those little love messages were even better than the smooth creamy chocolate inside.

dove

Partnership.  One of the biggest things I’ve learned in marriage and in being an Entrepreneur is that if your partner isn’t a partner, then you are better off going at it alone.  Everyone could use an extra ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, another set of hands.  Not just when it comes to work but also when it comes to a relationship.  Know your partner – how to speak to them, how to listen to them, how to react to them and most importantly, understand them and what they need from you as their partner.   Last year I wrote about the 5 Languages of Love – look them up, figure out what your partner is and learn to speak their language.  Thank me later.

Respect.  The way you speak to each other and treat each other…. alone and when other people are around…. says so much about your level of respect for each other. Treat each other the way you want your kids to treat other people.  And remember that your actions speak a lot louder than your words.

Adoration.  Remember in the beginning of your relationship when you truly went out of your way to make your new love feel special and loved.  You may have sent them sweet notes, walked their dog for them, shoveled their driveway or picked up the phone in the middle of a chaotic day just to say hi and hear their voice.    Maybe you had a cute name for them like pookie or cupcake or baby.  Start again… let them know you adore them with little gestures….. use your pet name for them again if you haven’t in a while, leave them a little love letter.  It will bring back memories of the early days and maybe create a new spark.

Screen Shot 2014-02-14 at 11.18.28 PM(card courtesy of http://www.elumdesigns.com)

Reflect.  Granted we were a lot younger and dumber back in the 80’s and early 90’s when it came to relationships but remember when you didn’t have a cell phone in your hand 24/7?  Remember how you had to communicate when you couldn’t send a text and you actually had to call someone and talk to them with the spoken word?  We are all busy these days and caught up with our phones, computer and ipads and the endless amount of shows we have access to thanks to Netflix and AppleTv. Try to take a few hours a week (I initially wrote day instead of week and then realized how much that would be asking) without technology and focus on the person in your life without the constant interruptions.  Enjoy the moment that you’re in without having to share it with the world on a social media channel.

Happy Valentine’s Day from WTHayley

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WT Homage

4 Jan

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This weekend we will say goodbye to a legacy that has been an integral part of our lives from the time we were  born. As a child, I was strolled in a pram on it and was fed a bottle from its benches overlooking the ocean. As a kid, I rode my bike along side my parents and walked with no shoes.  It left tiny splinters in my feet as I ran too fast to the ice cream stand.   As a teen, it was there for many first kisses, long walks hand-in-hand and it watched from afar as I sat on its beach looking out at the ocean on a starry night.  It provided shelter from passing rain storms on a hot summer day or a place to change out of a wetsuit.   It keep me hidden from beach patrol while I snuck beers and smoked with my friends.   It made a rattling noise as my bike slapped against its boards while I rode from Neptune to Grand, over and over again.  I’ve jumped from its edge to avoid paying for a pass and sat with friends while they spent the summers as ticket takers.  I’ve dripped ice cream and sprinkles on it, stubbed out a cigarette on it and left grains of long beach sand in its tiny crevasses.   It gave me a place to sit to watch the surfers catch their waves, scope out the hot lifeguards or just enjoy a slurpy on a beautiful summer day.   I’ve watched the summer crowds walk all over it and have enjoyed its solace on cold winter days.  It gave us memories that will last a lifetime and will live forever in our hearts.

-WT Hayley 😦

Photo from CB Sullivan

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WT Horney

16 Oct

Sorry if you’ve missed me.  Maybe I need more followers to feel the need to do more posts.  (Look to the right and sign up for the email version of my blog.  I promise I wont spam you)

(PS -I’m testing titles to see what generates more hits – stay tuned for the results.  I have a good feeling about this one)

I’ve had a few discussions recently with some girls friends, not to be named of course, and believe it or not, we talk about sex probably as much as men do.  However, when we discuss it, there is a huge discrepancy between the married sex life and the single sex life.  Single women don’t have a problem with ‘not wanting it’ because when they get it, they are happy to have it.  However, the married sex life for 99% of people that I know, is based on a few key things.  The woman wants it when…..  she’s in the mood, the credit card bill has arrived (I have one friend that refers to this as Amex-Sex) or it’s been so long that she’s got no choice but to do it or she’ll end up in an argument with her hubby.

And after polling a few ladies to find out exactly what it is that makes them want to have sex with their husbands, I’ve come to a few conclusions.  Guys, I know that I’ve got plenty of male fans out there that want to know how to get more sex out of their wives/girlfriends so you can thank me for this later.  (Ladies, don’t be angry with me this should help you out as well).  Here’s what I’ve uncovered.

There are a few categories that most, not all, married females fall into.  It’s all about women WANTING.  What do we want you ask?  Well, some of us want ‘things – material things, while others want things done for us – like helping out around the house, making arrangements or taking the kids off of our hands.  Then there are those of us that want to hear how good we look, how sexy we are or how much you ‘want’ us and don’t forgot those of us that want some physical connection – hand holding, a snuggle or smooch.  Last but not least are those of us that want to spend time with the ones we love.  Most importantly, is that you, as the MAN, need to know which category your significant other falls into.  While it’s not always about what WE want, it’s also about you not doing basically everything that YOU want to do.  Time at home, means time alone.  If you want some time to yourself guys, put in the time at home.  Not so hard.  Want to play poker one night?  Bring her some flowers(or expensive jewels), bathe the kids, tell her she looks pretty, plan a date night.  We’re not complicated if you can just figure us out.  Is that an oxymoron?  LOL.  Also, don’t be a dumb ass, know what the signs are for ‘I’m not in the fucking mood no matter what you do’.

WE ARE Cyclical:  Women are on a cycle, as you all very well know, and that gives us one week, give or take a few days, that we don’t want you near us.  While some of us use that as an excuse, it has been said that women are actually hornier when they are going through their cycle.  If your woman isn’t, then try her about 7-10 days later when she’s ovulating.  Our bodies are machines and our hormones ensure that we are giving off plenty of pheromones during the time we ovulate so that the male can sense it and come calling.  Some of you men, think you sense it all the time but that’s probably one of your issues.

In conclusion, spend some time tonight thinking about your ‘ significant other’ and trying to figure out what category they fit into.  It’s not just about us ladies, men fall into these categories too.

WTHayley

*Photo courtesy of Forbidden Fruit NYC 

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Free Refills

11 Jul

Why is it more people have not heard of this phrase?  I’d love to give a shout out to the person that introduced me to it but for the life of me, I can’t remember.  If you want to stake your claim, feel free to do so in the comment section of this post.  I’m happy to give credit where credit is due.

Let me explain.  A friend was sharing a story the other morning on the train about a girl that had claimed she had sex with him in college.  The guy on the other hand, was 100% certain that he had never touched her.  Not because she was ugly or anything – it just never happened.  As a side not, I’m not quite sure what girl claims to have sex with someone she actually never had sex with – like a self proclaimed slut – Weirder?   Anyway, this guy runs into the girl again a few years later – he’s single/she’s single.  Uh-huh!!!!  He’s thinking… this should be easy – she already thinks she had sex with me so either she wants to ‘fulfill the lie’ or she enjoyed it so much in her imagination that she’ll want it again.  So I said ‘Ha, who doesn’t want a free refill???‘  CRICKETS.  Nobody, among the 6 person train crew, knew WTH a free refill was, so I explained….

FREE REFILL – having intercourse with someone you’ve already intercoursed with.
Explanation: You don’t have to count it again.  Not another ‘notch on your belt’, ‘name on your list’, whatever you call want to call it.  It’s a repeat, a do-over, a freebie – hence, it’s a Free Refill.

The train crew loved it so much that they felt I should share my catch phrase with the rest of the world (or my 150 FB fans).  I’m not sure Free Refills are that big of a deal these days but the older you get, the harder they are to find.

-WTH

P.S. Stay Tuned…. Tough Mudder is on Saturday.  I’ll be Tweeting up a storm pre and post race.  Not sure my phone will make it through the mud.  If you don’t currently follow me, you can start now by clicking this link: https://twitter.com/hayleybyer

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A Day of WTHayley

20 Jun

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When people say “How was your day?”, do you ever really tell them how your day was or do you just give the typical response of “It was good”? Someone asked me this yesterday and it got me thinking about how my day really was and what it entailed. I then outlined my day in my head and thought I’d share this fun, slightly long, poem with you.

3am I hear a noise
Jack just tripped on all her toys
Getting up to make a pee
Once again, waking me
Back in bed and fall asleep
6am I hear a peep
The 4 yr old is getting up
She wants some milk in her cup
Leave me alone, I still have time
Milky Milky, she starts to wine
I stand my ground and make her wait
6:30 alarm, I can’t be late

Out of bed, shower and dress
Make the bed and clean the mess
Kids are playing, I make their beds
Brushes their teeth and comb their heads
Marley wants to wear a dress
It’s only 62, I try to stress
A dress she wants and starts to mope
I pick my battles to try and cope
Get them dressed and down the stairs
Pick out breakfast, “Get in your chairs”
Cereal for them and Coffee for me
My ride is here, kisses and leave

Get on train with my morning crew
Try to talk about something new
Open ipad, Words with Friends
This fucking game, it never ends
Need new Blog, I start to write
Writers Block, I’ll try tonight

Get to Penn and begin my stroll
Pick up ‘Bucks and Egg on Roll
Get to office, first one there
Eat my food, fix my hair
Check my email, lots of spam
Another client in a Jam
Make some calls and start the day
Check my Facebook, then music I play

Meetings, meetings back to back
Ugh, so glad I packed a snack
Status meeting starts at One
Another meeting, need to run
Tell the staff to do their work
Get on phone and yell at Jerk
3:00 I’m feeling beat
Holy shit, I forgot to eat
Finish work to catch the 5pm
Running late, Rush to Penn
Find a seat and hitch a ride
Home to girls, smiles so wide

Play some games, read some books
Dress up time with fancy looks
Brush their teeth and make them Pee
If not, 3am, Jack i’ll see
Tuck them into their warm beds
Give them kisses on their heads
Read 3 books and still want more
Good night moon or Fancy Nancy’s galore
7:30 – Kids in bed and lights are dim
Change my clothes and head to gym
Treadmill, stairs and lift some weight
Ugh, I’m tired, it’s getting late
Need to hit the Stop and Shop
Out of juice and Ice Pop
9:00 – Make some dinner, clean the dish
No work emails? Yeah right, I wish

Pack kids lunches, shower and shave
Jacks out of bed, she doesn’t behave
Back to compter, make To-Do list
Now Marley’s up, I’m getting pissed
Finally they’re down and out
I’m getting sleepy, and worn out
11:30 – Get in bed for 30 Rock
Don’t forget to set the clock
Head on pillow, hit the hay
And wake tomorrow for another day.

–WTH

Kismet

30 May

Kismet, Fate, Destiny…  Do people come into your life to serve a purpose?   What about objects?  Did you ever think about something and then all of a sudden it appeared in front of you like you were meant to find it at that exact moment?

I happen to be a believer.  I also think that I have a sixth sense but that’s something we can save for another discussion.  In regards to the idea that people and objects could be part of fate, I believe that the letters that strangely showed up on my Words with Friends board were meant to be?

Don’t tell me this hasn’t happened to you at least once?   I’ve been incredibly bored by my games on WWF these days and if you’re one of the lucky 25 people that I currently have games going with, you’ll see that you are crushing me.  I’m sorry if you thought that it was due to your incredible word building strategy but the fact is, I’m completely over it.  So much so, last week I started a game with a friend and we decided to make it interesting.  The new rule for our game is that you can only use words relating to sex.  I know, ridiculous, but I commute and what the hell else is there to do when you have nobody to talk to (no offense to my morning train crew – you know eventually you all get bored with the conversation as well).  This game has been a great form of entertainment for me(don’t knock it till you try it).  The best part is that we rate each other, not on points, but based on the word and how it gets put it to use in the Chat section of our game.  The last few plays have been great and the letters I have right now are completely hysterical.
Play 1: BUM
Play 2: BIT
Play 3: TIT
My letters: YOWENIE

I wish I could make this shit up.  I have included a picture of the game board for your viewing pleasure.  I would say that YO WENIE is Kismet. Now all I have to do is figure out where to put it. (On the board you sick people) 🙂
One other thing to mention regarding my sometimes boring commute.  I’m sure this woman is not reading my blog but I’d like her to know this….. it’s not ok if you are 18 years old and commuting into the city with your parents on the train at 8am and reading 50 Shades of Grey.  What made it even worse was when you stood up as the train stopped, turned to your parents and you “Ugh, I’m sweating!”.  Really?

-WTHayley

TGFM – Thank G-d For Monday

2 Apr

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about as my second ‘coming-out’ blog post.  Well, today provided me with some good amunition (I said good, not great, so don’t let this one deter you from ‘Following Me’).

I spent a lovely evening in the city last night for a friends 40th birthday.  The party started at 7pm and by 10:30 we were getting kicked out of the party room for the next party to set up. (That’s when the people in their 20’s rented the place out – depressing, eh?)  Knowing that Sunday was going to be a day of full on ‘motherhood’ with no help, no breaks in the action, no back up or quiet time, I decided to be a responsible adult/mother and convinced myself around 10pm that I should stop with the cocktails and have an early night.

While blissfully enjoying my heightened anabolic state, I was jolted awake at 4am by my ‘needing to use the potty’ 2 yr old, followed by a 6:30 wake up from my 4 yr old wondering ‘mommy, is it too early to ask you to use your iPad’. (Side bar: my 4 yr old will stand next to the bed breathing loudly and making little noises until you ‘wake up on your own’ to her face so close to yours that it literally scares the shit out of me every time)  So much for a restful night.  The day didn’t get much better – crankiness, tantrums, excessive snacking – and then there were my kids.

I finally had enough, put the kids to bed early, poured myself a glass of wine, turned the laundry over and sat down on the couch to snuggle up with the last chapter of  my favorite BDSM character, Christian Grey.  (For those of you who are living in a bubble and have not yet heard of the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James – Christian is the heat-in-the-sheets in many women’s bedrooms these days.  And there was no way I could possibly make another post without mentioning him).   Needless to say, I didn’t get through the first line when I hear the little one at the top of the stairs crying for me.  I emerge to find her soaked in peepee from head to toe, bed saturated and her favorite blankie in desperate need of a spin cycle.   Can’t wait to get back to work tomorrow.   Thank g-d for Monday.  WTH!

What The Hayley

22 Mar

Welcome to What The Hayley.  I was sitting in the bathroom at work just now and I decided that I need to start a blog.  Why?  Here are my reasons:

1) I have a lot to say and think people might want to hear it

2) I can be pretty funny sometimes

3) One of my new years resolutions for 2012 is ‘to get published’ and here I am (does this count?)

A little about me that you might want to know….
I am a Mother (of 2 gorgeous little girls).  Grew up on the South Shore of Long Island in a beach town with two older brothers – I think this is where I learned to be a cool chick.  I love anything outdoors – biking, hiking, water sports – but my biggest love in life is Skiing (in Utah).  I love my wine, dancing, partying, fun with friends, great food and amazing desserts(key to heart).  I’ve had my own business for 10 years and we’re still standing strong.  I love what I do and find it challenging every single day.  I’m grounded, have incredible family values and embrace all that life has to offer. (I might throw up on myself now)  Enough…. read my blog and you’ll learn more about me.

Before I forget, my funny story of the day is this….
As I mentioned, I was just in the bathroom – literally 3 minutes ago.  It’s an office bathroom shared by my 12 employees and the legal offices across the hall from us.  Every now and then, I’ll have to go so bad that I can’t be bothered to tear off a few strips of paper to line the seat so I’ll just sit.(i know, gross!!)  Within seconds, I’m usually regretting it when I think of the overweight (i’m being nice since this is my first post) guy across the hall that might have put his ass down moments before me.   Today, when I entered the bathroom my ‘I HAVE TO GO’ index was about a 4, leaving plenty of time to line the seat.  (Tangent: Why the FUCK can’t men put the damn seat down.  Thankful that we only have three in the office but I believe that not one of them ever considers it.  I promise to focus on this in a future blog and even conduct interviews from my small sampling of the male species in my office to find out why).  Back to the point…  So as I was lining the seat, I noticed that in front of the bowl was a small puddle of what I have to assume was someone’s ‘MISS’, leading me to ponder how this happens.  Either your stomach is so fat that you can’t see over it, your penis is so small that you have trouble aiming it or you just don’t give a fuck if you hit or miss.  WTH!