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Hiding In My Car

20 Apr

My friends… this shit is hard.  Really really hard.  If you watched on Wednesday when I sat in my car with my laptop and wine and sounded a bit delirious… that was me being delirious….  Feeling delirious at times and happy at other times.  I went to my car to escape everyone in my house, including my kids, and you know what, it’s all fucking good.   Sometimes we just need a place to hide.  And so, I went to my car, with my laptop, my phone and a big ass glass of Prosecco and I had a great 30 minute Facebook Live CoronaTime Talk with my favorite guest… MYSELF. 

I skipped Thursday’s CoronaTime talk because my co-mom, who truly happens to be my saving grace at the moment, needed some 1on1 Fostering time to talk about life.  Priorities. Yes, she’s a priority for me, as weird as that might be to some, I have come to really love, right down to my core, my step-son’s mom.  After all, she gave birth to that little nugget that I sometimes want to kill, but we are more on the same page of parenting than I every imagined.  And she can drink me under the table with her wine consumption, which she proved that night of our talk.

Friday was a long ass day of working with my brother’s company and juggling the KN95 masks that were supposed to already have shipped from China but our friends at Apple are bumping everyone off cargo space for a new product launch.  As if anyone needs a new Apple product right now. Wtf.

My brother’s amazing team was finally able to book the shipping but at twice the price.  Which will lead to another issue to juggle here today – telling people the price has gone up.  All things that are keeping me incredibly busy but I chose this.  I chose to work with him and I and grateful he gave me the opportunity to work with his company that is doing amazing things and in return, it’s helping to support my family as well.

Working and keeping busy is my happy place.  Busy people like to be busy or we lose our minds.  Helping and serving others is what lifts me up, makes me happy, feels good – it’s my natural high.  Throw a few glasses of wine in there and it’s a party!

During this downtime, and I mean down downtime… we are down. We are hearing terrible things day in and day out.  We are stuck at home feeling isolated and many are alone and feeling lonely.  It’s hard.  It’s scary.  It sucks.

It’s so important during this downtime to find the things that make you happy.  Bring you joy.  Bring you peace.  What are those things?   Write them on a sticky note so when you’re feeling crappy, you have something visible to remind you what makes you happy. And then DO THEM in whatever fashion you can.

Here’s my other piece of advice.  If you’re feeling down, don’t call the other people you know that are probably also feeling down. Call the people that lift you up, that make you feel better, bring you joy and happiness.  Those are the people to talk to.  Not the negative ones that will commiserate and will just make you feel even worse.  Make a list of those people too.  Put them on your Do Not Call List.

Call me. I’ll try to make you laugh. I’ll tell you a funny.  I’ll share the good the bad and the ugly like I did the other day in my car.  If you missed it, you can watch it here: – Posted on 4/15.

Stay safe.  Stay healthy.  Stay sane.

WT Happiness

20 May

Screen Shot 2016-05-20 at 12.56.44 PM

Today is my day to post in the happiness group about how you can foster your level of happiness.  I read Cheryl Sandberg’s commencement speech to Berkley this morning while sitting in my physical therapy appointment.   She addressed the students, not with her lessons in life but her lessons in death.  While dealing with her bereavement at the loss of her husband more than a year ago, she learned some incredible lessons that I think we all take for granted.

One of the biggest things I took away from her words were:  ‘Think about how much worse things could be’.  That’s the reality check we all need in life.  Perplexed, she responded to her friend saying ‘Are you kidding, how much worse could they be?’ and his response was ‘Your children could have been in the car with your husband when he had his Arrhythmia’.  When we think about life being worse, our minds move into the mode of ‘grateful’ and ‘appreciation’ for what we have, not what we don’t have.  While I was annoyed to be spending an hour of my morning sitting in PT as opposed to working out and sweating at the Crossfit gym, I took some of Cheryl’s advice.  IT COULD BE WORSE!  I could have torn my shoulder as opposed to just overusing it.  I would have had 6 months of PT as opposed to the mere 6 weeks (which are thankfully almost done).  And I still can work every muscle in my lower body which is what burns the most calories anyway.   Research has proven time and time again that people who find gratitude and appreciation are more resilient and are happier and healthier.

If you’ve seen any of my recent ‘family’ Facebook posts, you’ve seen the new friend that I’ve made with my future step-sons mother.  Brian and I have been together for over 2 years now and it’s taken us a while to get here but she needed time.  Time to realize that ‘things could be worse’… I could be worse.  I could be mean and nasty and uncooperative.  But i’m not.  I’m loving and forgiving and kind.  And no matter how long it took her to be come around, I was waiting with open arms and a smile to embrace her, befriend her and partner with her in the co-parenting of her son.

So next time you’re feeling down, or sad or hurting… just think about how much worse it could be and then write down or make a mental note of the things you are truly grateful for and the things you appreciate in your life.  Better yet, start a journal and write them down so when you tend to forget, you can look back and remind yourself.  #choosehappiness #itcouldbeworse

If you’d like to join our next Happiness Group event (it’s free and open to ANYONE), click here for more information:

A link to the full article on Sheryl’s Commencement Speech:

WT Honesty (in Parenting)

27 Apr


As parents, how often do we speak the truth about what goes on in our heads and behind closed doors.  Some live in towns where they don’t want to be labeled or judged by others so they keep the intimate details and personal thoughts all to themselves.  Me…. I’m an open book and although I do agree that my kids deserve the right to tell their own stories, until they are able, I will continue to be the mouthpiece sharing my (our) lives with the world.

In the essence of sharing, I thought it would be entertaining to highlight some of what I have personally been feeling this week about my awesome and not-so-awesome parenting moments.

On Monday, I wrote (posted on FB) about the kids off of school this week and how we should all try to take a moment and reset/enjoy some of the time with them rather than give into the stress of what it means to entertain or shuttle or occupy their time for the week – especially for those of us in our normal elements and not away on vacation.  In reflecting back on my life as a full-time working commuting mom, I realized or should I say I self-admitted that life was easier then during weeks like this one where I was working and not taking off.  I didn’t have to organize, plan and entertain.  I went to work and had an amazing nanny to do the dirty work.  In this realization, I also came to terms with the flip sides of that previous life.  Being a full-time, entrepreneur that works from home, life during a vacation week presents a whole new set of challenges.  Similar to the full-time, stay at home mom which is also a very difficult job, we have to balance these vacation days with work and responsibilities while trying to balance the kids’ schedules and the shuttling service.  I kept thinking, how the hell am I going to get any work done during the day?!?  And I felt tons of guilt for even feeling this way.

As I consider myself to be a master of time management, I still felt the pull of my kids wanting mommy time but knowing full well that mommy time means not mommy holding a cell phone, sitting at her laptop or with her head in her work.  So in putting my own challenge out to world on Monday, here’s where I am at 5 days into vacation.

I’ve accomplished and tried to squeeze a Life Lesson (LL) into each one:

  • Being fun mommy at least once a day for at least and hour or two.  LL: I’ve actually had a really fun time doing it.
  • Feeding kids cupcakes for breakfast (sorry Rabbi). LL: Even mommies crave sweet treats for breakfast but it feels better to start the day with a healthy choice.  The next day we had protein (Eggs and Bacon – sorry again Rabbi) for breakfast.
  • Playing dodgeball chasing them around the house. LL: Don’t shoot at the face. Don’t mess with a Navy Seal. They always win.
  • Giving in to dying their hair pink and purple (occupied about two – three hours and they were so excited the entire time that no energy or entertainment was needed on my part.  LL: hair color is temporary and can always wash out.  I told them both…. Don’t do anything to your hair or body that you can’t reverse – this is due to the fear my little one will want a real tattoo sooner than later.
  • Movie (Superhero) marathon all week long.  LL: Talked about how awesome girl superheroes are like Black Widow who can kick anyone’s ass. (I did use child appropriate language while explaining)

During vacation week, it’s ok to:

  • Feel the stress of the week and dread it
  • Still make time for yourself and your workout or manicure or whatever it is you do for yourself
  • Crave a cocktail before noon even if you’re not on a beach
  • Dump your kids on someone else for a few hours
  • Over-schedule them at back to back workshops or Unlimited Sports and then Parisi and then a play date
  • Hide:  I’m not really working, I’m in the basement avoiding you and your sister and your bickering about absolutely nothing

Here are a few things I’ve accepted this week:

  1. I’m a better mom after a workout.
  2. I’m more fun after two glasses of wine – this goes for non-vacation days as well.
  3. I could have handled many moments differently this week but we only have so much patience (I tend to think I have much less than most people).  I do make sure to apologize after I yell and explain how we both could have handled the situation differently.
  4. My kids are 6 and 8 and I need to accept that they don’t appreciate half the shit I do for them now but only hope they’ll appreciate it later in life.
  5. My kids like me a lot better when i’m a silly, goofy, funny, cool, non-mommy life figure.  Sorry kids, at the end of the day, I’m still your mother.

IMG_5700In a nutshell, being home during a vacation week is f’in hard and it’s ok to ride the rollercoaster of good mom, fun mom, mean mom, crazy mom, buzzed mom, happy mom and exhausted mom.   That’s what it’s all about, right?  We had kids so they could torture us like we tortured our parents but at the end of the day, those cute little animals make life a lot more fun and exciting and help us appreciate the little (and big) things in life that make us truly happy.

Enjoy the rest of your vacation week.


WT Divorce

1 Oct

WT Divorce.

WT Divorce

1 Oct


This morning I received an invitation to my ex-husbands wedding.  Yes, you read that right.  My ex and his fiance have invited my boyfriend and I (as well as my brother and his wife) to his upcoming wedding.  When I opened the invite, I felt a pang in my stomach.  It wasn’t sadness or jealousy.  It was happiness and a sense of pride.  Happiness because I truly am happy for him that he has found someone(and an awesome someone at that) and pride because I am so proud of both of us for the way we have handled our separation and divorce since the very beginning.  Not many people can or ever will be able to say what I just told you.  We are not normal but one thing we both are, is HAPPY.

After two and half years, our divorce became final in May.  Although we mediated, the process still takes forever. When we began the process, we thought that because we weren’t going to fight each other, it would be quick. But, no matter what the situation, it is impossible for it to take less than a year.  If you’ve done it, good for you and please share your secret because I have yet to meet anyone that’s gotten through it quickly.  Over the last two and a half years, I’ve had countless people commend me (and my ex) on the relationship we have with each other.  The day the papers arrived from the courts, my ex stopped by my office so that we could share the moment together. You might think that’s weird but for us, it’s the way we chose to handle things from the beginning. There were fights, screaming matches, throwing things and people threatening to quit but at the end of it all, I learned a tremendous amount about myself, my ex and about making it less painful than it needs to be.   So, whether you are miserably married and feel stuck, seriously contemplating divorce or in the midst of your proceedings, keep reading.

To Divorce or Not To Divorce? That is the question and the one with the hardest answer. Just like having a baby, you don’t really know what you’re in for until you’re in it. If you have a good man but he’s just annoying and pisses you off time and time again, figure out a way to work on it. If you’ve still got that lovin’ feeling somewhere deep deep inside you then find the things you fell in love with at the beginning and try to get them back… together. It takes two. On the flip side, if you fall into any of these then it might be time to call the attorney:

  • you are oil and he is water
  • he/she flat out sucks and you are at the point of hating each other
  • the slightest things annoy the shit out of you – like the way he/she breathes
  • you’re getting angry at each other just for sneezing
  • you spend moments of your day thinking about ways to kill the other person if you could get away with it

So, if you’ve settled on getting out, the insights below just might help you and your ex to keep things civil.

Lawyers v. Mediators.  There is a huge difference here – hundreds of thousands of dollars in difference.  If you can’t be in the same room together and can’t stand to look at each other, a mediator will most likely not want to deal with you.  However, if you can mediate, I highly recommend it.  It’s not an easy process but it’s worth the money.  Either way, divorce isn’t cheap and at the end of all the back and forth, you will both be down at least $50 – $100k – money which could go towards your kids and other things.  If you go the lawyer route, and no offense to any divorce lawyers reading this, their job is to fight for you and fight hard.  They will talk you into things that they think you deserve and only make you more angry at what he ‘isn’t’ offering you.  The more they fight, the more they make.  Bottom line, you may not win, but either way, your lawyer will.

It’s ALL About The Kids. If you share children, your ex will never truly be out of your life so why not try to keep things civil. You will always have to speak to each other regarding your offspring so try to speak kindly and if you can’t find nice words, just send a text and let them take it however they want to take it.  If in the company of your children, try not to completely ignore each other or be nasty to each other… what lesson are you teaching your children if you can’t even speak to the person they love as their mother or father.

Cha-cha-cha-Changes. NOT! What you hated about your ex while you were together will still be the things you hate when you are divorced because people don’t change (and I fully include myself in this comment.  I am still guilty of doing all the things that pissed him off when we were married).  Take comfort in knowing that they have not changed and never will but a new person might bring out a better side of them…. and you need to just deal with it.

Moo000lah. During the process it all becomes about the money even if you go in trying not to focus on that. Don’t be selfish, at the end of the day, it should only be about the kids. If you left her because you don’t love her or found someone else, don’t skimp out on alimony and child support. If you left him for the same reason, don’t ask for what’s NOT yours. Just do right by each other or every month you will have a bad taste in your mouth.

Hugs. At the end of a fight or mediation session, hug it out no matter how angry you are, how much you want to kill each other or how sick the other person makes you feel. As silly as it sounds, it changes your emotional state and you can leave a little less bitter. (I know a lot of people are saying there is no fucking way this one is gonna happen). Trust me, it makes a difference and in hindsight, I’m thankful that he made me do this every time.  When we signed our papers, a hug wasn’t enough so we went for a cocktail, took a picture, friended each other on Facebook for 5 minutes, shared the picture and then unfriended each other.  You don’t need to be friends on Facebook – as much as we like each other, there is absolutely NO need.

Sharing is Caring.  You made babies together, one of you probably will have more time with them than the other, which leaves one of you missing out on day to day things. Send a picture of your kid on the first day of school or in a new cute outfit or send a message about something funny that happened.  You’ll appreciate the pictures or the messages when the roles are reversed.   And if you can handle it, try to share a meal together once in a while…. for the sake of the kids.  But, again, don’t be friends on Facebook.

Consideration. If you have a new love in your life and your ex doesn’t, try to put yourself in their shoes and think how you might react to certain situations like bed sharing, attending the kids events together or decision making. Tread lightly. You may be on the opposite side one day and wish they considered your feelings.  And remember, don’t be friends on Facebook.

Moving On. Don’t rush the next relationship. So many people have asked me where they should be looking for men to date or get back in the game(Tinder, POF, Hinge, Ashley Madison… that last one might be why you’re getting divorced). I’m not saying don’t get out there. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. (I wish I could credit the person that told me that because it’s a great line – feel free to use it). Enjoy your time alone and find yourself again. Chances are you got lost somewhere between marriage and kids, homework and soccer games. Take the time to find whatever it is you lost. It will set the stage for your happiness in your next relationship.

Be happy. For goodness sake you got divorced because you were miserable or he was miserable or you were both miserable.  Find your happy place and wrap your arms around it because no matter how old you are, you have time to find an amazing partner to spend the rest of your life with and not make the same mistakes you made the first time.  And if you have kids, one of the perks is your off time.  I’m sorry, it might sound sad, but when you’re single and working or lunching or whatever it is you do, every other weekend ‘off duty’ allows for ‘you-time’ and time with your new person.

My ex and I have both moved on.  We are both blissfully happy.  We found new partners that are not only amazing, but respect our relationship and support it.  We spend time together(yes, all 4 of us) with the kids and sometimes randomly run into each other at concerts or parties, at which his new partner and I can be found laughing and having a blast on the dance floor… together.  It’s not normal but it works and not only are WE better for it, but our kids will be better for it as well.


WT Brotherly Love

29 Apr

When I was pregnant with my second child and found out I was having another girl, a little piece of me was sad that my older daughter wouldn’t grow up with a brother.  Having a brother was the only sibling relationship I knew and I worried about the sister rivalry that might occur.  More importantly though, was the loss of not having the brotherly figure in her life.  From the time I was a little girl, all I ever wanted, was to be ‘cool’ like my big brother.  He had a paper route, I wanted a paper route.  He knew how to ski, I wanted to know how to ski.  He liked Led Zeppelin and Beastie Boys, I wanted to like Led Zeppelin and Beastie Boys.  He smoked weed, I wanted to smoke weed.   He was a pervert, I wanted to…..  Some might say that I am who I am because of his influence.

To know my brother is to know me and vise versa.   I often tell people that he’s me, except he has a penis (and some body hair).  We have a relationship that not many siblings have with each other and one that during the years of beating the shit out of each other, I never imagined we would have.  But my mother always used to say, one day you will love each other and be best friends.  YEAH RIGHT!  Well… of course, mother is always right.

I’m not sure when it actually started – maybe sometime around 5th grade when he thought it would be cool if I dated his girlfriends little brother so we could go on a double date together to go see The Outsiders.  By the time we got to High School he accepted that I wanted to go to the same parties with him and drink Old ‘E,  dive down flights of stairs, other stuff I wont mention and watch reruns of Pink Floyd’s The Wall.  My parents trusted him with my life, for some odd reason, and left us alone for 3 weeks while they travelled to Spain.  Needless to say, we spent all of our spending money on the way home from dropping them at JFK and then proceeded to fill our house with paraphernalia and party for the next three weeks.  I’m actually shocked we ever made it to school during that time and that all of our friends (most notably Stein) made it out alive.

One of the saddest days of my teenage years was when he decided he was heading out west to finish up his last two years of college (which actually took him another 4 years and graduating 2 weeks after I did).  I ate tubs of ice cream and played Going to California by Zeppelin over and over and over again for weeks.  It was a breakup like no other.  But even 3,000 miles couldn’t put a damper on our relationship.  Visits to the Del Mar apartment, San Diego Zoo, Board and Brew, Concerts at SDSU, Los Gatos, road trips to LA and many many more awesome times were had.

By far, 41 years is the longest relationship with a man that I have ever had… and we are closer now than ever.  We only get to see each other and get our 4 girls together a few times a year, but the trips are priceless and we make the most out of them with visits to electronics stores, home depot and some other place to get some other part to try and fix some other thing.  He’s the only person that could convince me to give up meat for a year and I’m probably the only person that could convince him to do a Tough Mudder.

Today he turns 44 and while I know he’s aware of how much I truly  admire, adore, support, trust and love him, I wanted to share with everyone else.  Although he is not perfect by any means (no man is for that matter), he’s the most amazing brother any girl could ever ask for.

I love you B.  Happy happy happy birthday.  Wish I was there.



WT Momma

12 May

In case anyone missed it, here it is again for my amazing Mother and all of those other amazing mom’s out there.



Is there a better time of year than this to tell your mother how much she means to you, to thank her and to let her know that she is and always will be the most wonderful and important woman in your life.  While you’re at it, don’t forget to tell her how the lessons she has taught you have had a huge impact on who you are as a person.  Tell her how there are so many days that you reflect back on being a child or a kid or a teenager, and remembering how she handled certain situations, and that you use those memories for parenting your own children.  Make sure to thank her for all of support she gives you day in and day out.

I am the woman that feels the need to tell my mother everything.  It wasn’t always this way of course.  Back in…

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WT Momma

8 May


Is there a better time of year than this to tell your mother how much she means to you, to thank her and to let her know that she is and always will be the most wonderful and important woman in your life.  While you’re at it, don’t forget to tell her how the lessons she has taught you have had a huge impact on who you are as a person.  Tell her how there are so many days that you reflect back on being a child or a kid or a teenager, and remembering how she handled certain situations, and that you use those memories for parenting your own children.  Make sure to thank her for all of support she gives you day in and day out.

I am the woman that feels the need to tell my mother everything.  It wasn’t always this way of course.  Back in the day, I thought I could hide things from her but as the saying goes… ‘Mother Always Knows’.  I couldn’t get away with a single thing in my house.  From sneaking out on a school night and going to Malibu Night Club so I could drink underage and grind with older guys on the dance floor, my mother always seemed to find a way to bust me.  She dragged me out of there by my Banana clip that night and took away my fake ID.  She also told the doorman on the way out that I was 16, which pretty much ruined my shot of returning in the near future.  Probably for the best.  I can still hear Tainted Love playing in the background on my way out.

My house always seemed to be the one people hung out at all the time (quite possibly due to the Central Air Conditioning and the comfort of 69 degrees on a hot summer day).  I remember the time when I was a Sr. in High School and a few of my girl friends and I were sitting around my kitchen table with my mom and we got onto the subject of sex.  She asked me if I was having sex with a guy friend of mine that I spent a lot of time with and I remember being shocked at the abruptness in which she just came out with it.  That was the first time I realized that she wasn’t asking to judge me or to lecture me, but more so because she just wanted to know and be involved in every aspect of my life.

Since then, she has always been the person I turn to first when I need a shoulder or advice or just to hear the soothing tone of her voice to put me at ease.  She is the person I call when I am looking for an honest answer…. there is no bullshit with her.  She tells it like it is.  (hmmm, no wonder where I get it from).  She is my rock, my strength and my sounding board.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her or speak to her, even just to tell her some silly little thing about my day.  She is the most beautiful person in the world, both inside and out and I couldn’t possibly love her more than I do.

So while my Hallmark card is in the mail, I realized that my mother deserves more than just a card to tell wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  This post is for you mom.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being my number one fan, for your unconditional and everlasting love and support of everything I do.  I’m the luckiest person in the world to have an amazing mother like you.   Happy Mother’s Day Momma.


26 Sep

Happy New Year to all of my fellow MOT’s. For those of you who don’t know what MOT is – Members Of the Tribe or Fellow Jews. If you’re not a fellow Jew, HNY to you anyway – a few months early.

This time of year is especially hard for me. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur have always been a traditional time of year for my family and the time of year that my dad and I would sit in Shul together, his arm around me, snuggling close while I played with the fringes on his Tallis as he hummed to the music and pretended to know the words to all the songs. He would bob up and down and when it came to a word he knew, like Amen, he was as loud as ever. It was embarrassing when you’re 9 years old but thinking back on it now makes me smile. I still remember exactly where we used to sit in the Synagogue, same row every time, all the way to the far side so I’d have to walk length the room to get to him, avoiding eye contact with Rabbi Miller and Cantor Mendelson the entire time. I miss him every day, but during these days in temple, I miss him more than ever.

It’s sad how when our parents are alive we take for granted the time that we have with them. How often do you sit down with your parents and ask them questions about their youth or their life experiences. Have you ever sat and listened to your parents when they are talking to their peers and reminiscing about a memory from way back when? About 15 years ago, I decided that I wanted to learn more about my dad. He was 46 when he had me and while this doesn’t seem so old as I’m approaching 40, back then it was.

So I sat him down with a list of questions and asked him to give me the answers to them. And without hesitation he did. I sat with his answers for a while not really knowing what to do with it. I had always felt that my dad lived such an interesting life but little did I know how interesting it was. After almost 3 years of not having my dad around, I am so thankful that I got to know him on another level and took the time to do it. I feel his presence now more than ever and especially his divine intervention over the last few months. Don’t wait until you have a sick parent or until it’s too late to truly get to know your parents. Even if you think their life isn’t all that interesting, you’ll be amazed at what you might find out.  *I had started this post a few days ago and meant to post it before the holiday but didn’t get a chance.  Now I know why.  The President of my temple said a few words this morning about ‘Leaving our Footprints’ when we are no longer here.  This ties back so closely to what I was saying about our parents.  What is that people will say about you when you are no longer here. What do you want people to remember you for?  What, other than the basics, do you know about your parents from their past?  What is the story that you’ll be telling their grandchildren and great grandchildren in years to come?  The time to dig deeper into their lives is now, while they are still here.  It’s also a time to reflect on ourselves and in the words of Rabbi Z, to look at the road ahead at what we’d like to achieve in our lives and what we’d like people to remember us for.

Some of you may have already seen this because I posted it on FB after losing my dad. It’s the obituary that I read at his funeral. It pretty much sums him up (I’ll let you know when i finally get his biography published):


Hal is From….
A few months ago I was at a business event and was asked to participate in an exercise entitled ‘I am from’. It makes you think about your history and who you are because of what you came from. Over the last few days I’ve been reflecting about my father – who he was, what he meant to me and most importantly – where he was from. Many of you here today cover different decades of knowing my dad but I wanted to give you a little taste of where Hal is from. If he were to have written this about himself this is what he might have said:

I am from Herman and Irene – loving, devoted mother whose standards I held to when seeking out my own life partners. Hard working, Old Spice smelling, unaffectionate, and tough love giving father.

I am from fresh off the boat from Russia/Poland, the Bronxville section of Brooklyn, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Long Beach sand in my shoes and the 9th hole of the General at PGA. I am from Coney Island, Jacob Reese Park, weekends in the Catskills, sand dunes of Canarsie and Far Rockaway and Reynolds Channel.

I am from Duncan Yo-yo contests, checkers with Bottlecaps, Marbles, stick ball, street fights and dancing at the Paramount. From Benny Goodman, Glen Miller, Frank Sinatra and Red Buttons.

I am from chicken soup from scratch, Lilly’s Ruggalah, matzoh brie, grimmslich, Dim Sum – Temple Beth Shalom. I am from Zoot Suits, Bell Bottoms, Peatcoats. Palmade, Pompadors and Mustaches.

I am from the WWII, US Navy – boot camp in Sampson NY, stationed in Norman Oklahoma, tour in Guam, ending in Saipan. I am from a never-ending love of the water – from My Two Sons, Bulk Rate and Plane Folks. Summers in Fire Island, day trips to Short Beach and Wantagh State Park, Snug Harbor in Montauk NY. Epis. I am from conception on row-boats, snapper fishing on dingies and big eye tuna hunts on 37 ft Silvertons. I am from falling in love with airplanes at the age of 8, attending the Manhattan High School of aviation trades and 75 years later joining the RC Bush Pilots at the flying fields in West Palm.

I am from work – stuffing spices into envelopes in 1939, selling magazines and flowers, walking dogs, selling trades on Wall Street, the Garment Center, making donuts, printing at Metro, Foster Securities, Committeeman in the 18th district of Long Beach, Championship Show Dogs, Ancestral Land Company of Ireland, NuFoam, Fosters Gourmet Café, Gold Plated Golf Cards, Electrolux Salesman, Magnetic Bracelets, Hurricane Shutters and up until one week ago, Hurricane Shutter Windows. I am from never wanting to retire and never letting myself do it.

I am from two wives – married at 23 to Marilyn, mother of Ronnie, heart-wrenching loss after 18 years. I am from bachelorhood in my 40’s, from woman chasing me down the street with mattresses strapped to their backs only to find an amazing woman on a random blind date in 1969. I am from Susan – a second chance at love and life, my support system, beautiful both inside and out, iconic mother and devoted wife – even till the bitter end.

I am from a second family in London – Jimmy and Sadie – second parents, fun loving, hardworking, salt beef boiling, pastry making, American car driving in-laws. John, Sandra, Tracy, Rochelle, Jimmy and Simon.

I am from my children – Ronnie, Bradley and Hayley Beth. Speechless at what they have achieved, who they are and what they have become. Chef, Business Developer, Entrepreneurs – success. I am from Barbara, Melissa and Darin – my other three children where the term in-law never applied, always part of my family and forever a special place in my heart. I am from Uma, Pilara, Marley and Jackson – my four little princesses that gave me overwhelming joy, thousands of smiles and a reason to fight for my life these last few months. I am from to-know-me is to love me, short-tempered, selective hearing, tenacious, always doing it my way, roaring like a lion but soft as a pussycat. I am Proud and fulfilled and now I have moved on. I am from Forever.

In memory of my dad,  WTH

A Day of WTHayley

20 Jun


When people say “How was your day?”, do you ever really tell them how your day was or do you just give the typical response of “It was good”? Someone asked me this yesterday and it got me thinking about how my day really was and what it entailed. I then outlined my day in my head and thought I’d share this fun, slightly long, poem with you.

3am I hear a noise
Jack just tripped on all her toys
Getting up to make a pee
Once again, waking me
Back in bed and fall asleep
6am I hear a peep
The 4 yr old is getting up
She wants some milk in her cup
Leave me alone, I still have time
Milky Milky, she starts to wine
I stand my ground and make her wait
6:30 alarm, I can’t be late

Out of bed, shower and dress
Make the bed and clean the mess
Kids are playing, I make their beds
Brushes their teeth and comb their heads
Marley wants to wear a dress
It’s only 62, I try to stress
A dress she wants and starts to mope
I pick my battles to try and cope
Get them dressed and down the stairs
Pick out breakfast, “Get in your chairs”
Cereal for them and Coffee for me
My ride is here, kisses and leave

Get on train with my morning crew
Try to talk about something new
Open ipad, Words with Friends
This fucking game, it never ends
Need new Blog, I start to write
Writers Block, I’ll try tonight

Get to Penn and begin my stroll
Pick up ‘Bucks and Egg on Roll
Get to office, first one there
Eat my food, fix my hair
Check my email, lots of spam
Another client in a Jam
Make some calls and start the day
Check my Facebook, then music I play

Meetings, meetings back to back
Ugh, so glad I packed a snack
Status meeting starts at One
Another meeting, need to run
Tell the staff to do their work
Get on phone and yell at Jerk
3:00 I’m feeling beat
Holy shit, I forgot to eat
Finish work to catch the 5pm
Running late, Rush to Penn
Find a seat and hitch a ride
Home to girls, smiles so wide

Play some games, read some books
Dress up time with fancy looks
Brush their teeth and make them Pee
If not, 3am, Jack i’ll see
Tuck them into their warm beds
Give them kisses on their heads
Read 3 books and still want more
Good night moon or Fancy Nancy’s galore
7:30 – Kids in bed and lights are dim
Change my clothes and head to gym
Treadmill, stairs and lift some weight
Ugh, I’m tired, it’s getting late
Need to hit the Stop and Shop
Out of juice and Ice Pop
9:00 – Make some dinner, clean the dish
No work emails? Yeah right, I wish

Pack kids lunches, shower and shave
Jacks out of bed, she doesn’t behave
Back to compter, make To-Do list
Now Marley’s up, I’m getting pissed
Finally they’re down and out
I’m getting sleepy, and worn out
11:30 – Get in bed for 30 Rock
Don’t forget to set the clock
Head on pillow, hit the hay
And wake tomorrow for another day.