Tag Archives: mom

WT Honesty (in Parenting)

27 Apr

IMG_5722

As parents, how often do we speak the truth about what goes on in our heads and behind closed doors.  Some live in towns where they don’t want to be labeled or judged by others so they keep the intimate details and personal thoughts all to themselves.  Me…. I’m an open book and although I do agree that my kids deserve the right to tell their own stories, until they are able, I will continue to be the mouthpiece sharing my (our) lives with the world.

In the essence of sharing, I thought it would be entertaining to highlight some of what I have personally been feeling this week about my awesome and not-so-awesome parenting moments.

On Monday, I wrote (posted on FB) about the kids off of school this week and how we should all try to take a moment and reset/enjoy some of the time with them rather than give into the stress of what it means to entertain or shuttle or occupy their time for the week – especially for those of us in our normal elements and not away on vacation.  In reflecting back on my life as a full-time working commuting mom, I realized or should I say I self-admitted that life was easier then during weeks like this one where I was working and not taking off.  I didn’t have to organize, plan and entertain.  I went to work and had an amazing nanny to do the dirty work.  In this realization, I also came to terms with the flip sides of that previous life.  Being a full-time, entrepreneur that works from home, life during a vacation week presents a whole new set of challenges.  Similar to the full-time, stay at home mom which is also a very difficult job, we have to balance these vacation days with work and responsibilities while trying to balance the kids’ schedules and the shuttling service.  I kept thinking, how the hell am I going to get any work done during the day?!?  And I felt tons of guilt for even feeling this way.

As I consider myself to be a master of time management, I still felt the pull of my kids wanting mommy time but knowing full well that mommy time means not mommy holding a cell phone, sitting at her laptop or with her head in her work.  So in putting my own challenge out to world on Monday, here’s where I am at 5 days into vacation.

I’ve accomplished and tried to squeeze a Life Lesson (LL) into each one:

  • Being fun mommy at least once a day for at least and hour or two.  LL: I’ve actually had a really fun time doing it.
  • Feeding kids cupcakes for breakfast (sorry Rabbi). LL: Even mommies crave sweet treats for breakfast but it feels better to start the day with a healthy choice.  The next day we had protein (Eggs and Bacon – sorry again Rabbi) for breakfast.
  • Playing dodgeball chasing them around the house. LL: Don’t shoot at the face. Don’t mess with a Navy Seal. They always win.
  • Giving in to dying their hair pink and purple (occupied about two – three hours and they were so excited the entire time that no energy or entertainment was needed on my part.  LL: hair color is temporary and can always wash out.  I told them both…. Don’t do anything to your hair or body that you can’t reverse – this is due to the fear my little one will want a real tattoo sooner than later.
  • Movie (Superhero) marathon all week long.  LL: Talked about how awesome girl superheroes are like Black Widow who can kick anyone’s ass. (I did use child appropriate language while explaining)

During vacation week, it’s ok to:

  • Feel the stress of the week and dread it
  • Still make time for yourself and your workout or manicure or whatever it is you do for yourself
  • Crave a cocktail before noon even if you’re not on a beach
  • Dump your kids on someone else for a few hours
  • Over-schedule them at back to back workshops or Unlimited Sports and then Parisi and then a play date
  • Hide:  I’m not really working, I’m in the basement avoiding you and your sister and your bickering about absolutely nothing

Here are a few things I’ve accepted this week:

  1. I’m a better mom after a workout.
  2. I’m more fun after two glasses of wine – this goes for non-vacation days as well.
  3. I could have handled many moments differently this week but we only have so much patience (I tend to think I have much less than most people).  I do make sure to apologize after I yell and explain how we both could have handled the situation differently.
  4. My kids are 6 and 8 and I need to accept that they don’t appreciate half the shit I do for them now but only hope they’ll appreciate it later in life.
  5. My kids like me a lot better when i’m a silly, goofy, funny, cool, non-mommy life figure.  Sorry kids, at the end of the day, I’m still your mother.

IMG_5700In a nutshell, being home during a vacation week is f’in hard and it’s ok to ride the rollercoaster of good mom, fun mom, mean mom, crazy mom, buzzed mom, happy mom and exhausted mom.   That’s what it’s all about, right?  We had kids so they could torture us like we tortured our parents but at the end of the day, those cute little animals make life a lot more fun and exciting and help us appreciate the little (and big) things in life that make us truly happy.

Enjoy the rest of your vacation week.

WTHayley

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WT Momma

8 May

Momma

Is there a better time of year than this to tell your mother how much she means to you, to thank her and to let her know that she is and always will be the most wonderful and important woman in your life.  While you’re at it, don’t forget to tell her how the lessons she has taught you have had a huge impact on who you are as a person.  Tell her how there are so many days that you reflect back on being a child or a kid or a teenager, and remembering how she handled certain situations, and that you use those memories for parenting your own children.  Make sure to thank her for all of support she gives you day in and day out.

I am the woman that feels the need to tell my mother everything.  It wasn’t always this way of course.  Back in the day, I thought I could hide things from her but as the saying goes… ‘Mother Always Knows’.  I couldn’t get away with a single thing in my house.  From sneaking out on a school night and going to Malibu Night Club so I could drink underage and grind with older guys on the dance floor, my mother always seemed to find a way to bust me.  She dragged me out of there by my Banana clip that night and took away my fake ID.  She also told the doorman on the way out that I was 16, which pretty much ruined my shot of returning in the near future.  Probably for the best.  I can still hear Tainted Love playing in the background on my way out.

My house always seemed to be the one people hung out at all the time (quite possibly due to the Central Air Conditioning and the comfort of 69 degrees on a hot summer day).  I remember the time when I was a Sr. in High School and a few of my girl friends and I were sitting around my kitchen table with my mom and we got onto the subject of sex.  She asked me if I was having sex with a guy friend of mine that I spent a lot of time with and I remember being shocked at the abruptness in which she just came out with it.  That was the first time I realized that she wasn’t asking to judge me or to lecture me, but more so because she just wanted to know and be involved in every aspect of my life.

Since then, she has always been the person I turn to first when I need a shoulder or advice or just to hear the soothing tone of her voice to put me at ease.  She is the person I call when I am looking for an honest answer…. there is no bullshit with her.  She tells it like it is.  (hmmm, no wonder where I get it from).  She is my rock, my strength and my sounding board.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her or speak to her, even just to tell her some silly little thing about my day.  She is the most beautiful person in the world, both inside and out and I couldn’t possibly love her more than I do.

So while my Hallmark card is in the mail, I realized that my mother deserves more than just a card to tell wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  This post is for you mom.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being my number one fan, for your unconditional and everlasting love and support of everything I do.  I’m the luckiest person in the world to have an amazing mother like you.   Happy Mother’s Day Momma.

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