WT Horney

16 Oct

Sorry if you’ve missed me.  Maybe I need more followers to feel the need to do more posts.  (Look to the right and sign up for the email version of my blog.  I promise I wont spam you)

(PS -I’m testing titles to see what generates more hits – stay tuned for the results.  I have a good feeling about this one)

I’ve had a few discussions recently with some girls friends, not to be named of course, and believe it or not, we talk about sex probably as much as men do.  However, when we discuss it, there is a huge discrepancy between the married sex life and the single sex life.  Single women don’t have a problem with ‘not wanting it’ because when they get it, they are happy to have it.  However, the married sex life for 99% of people that I know, is based on a few key things.  The woman wants it when…..  she’s in the mood, the credit card bill has arrived (I have one friend that refers to this as Amex-Sex) or it’s been so long that she’s got no choice but to do it or she’ll end up in an argument with her hubby.

And after polling a few ladies to find out exactly what it is that makes them want to have sex with their husbands, I’ve come to a few conclusions.  Guys, I know that I’ve got plenty of male fans out there that want to know how to get more sex out of their wives/girlfriends so you can thank me for this later.  (Ladies, don’t be angry with me this should help you out as well).  Here’s what I’ve uncovered.

There are a few categories that most, not all, married females fall into.  It’s all about women WANTING.  What do we want you ask?  Well, some of us want ‘things – material things, while others want things done for us – like helping out around the house, making arrangements or taking the kids off of our hands.  Then there are those of us that want to hear how good we look, how sexy we are or how much you ‘want’ us and don’t forgot those of us that want some physical connection – hand holding, a snuggle or smooch.  Last but not least are those of us that want to spend time with the ones we love.  Most importantly, is that you, as the MAN, need to know which category your significant other falls into.  While it’s not always about what WE want, it’s also about you not doing basically everything that YOU want to do.  Time at home, means time alone.  If you want some time to yourself guys, put in the time at home.  Not so hard.  Want to play poker one night?  Bring her some flowers(or expensive jewels), bathe the kids, tell her she looks pretty, plan a date night.  We’re not complicated if you can just figure us out.  Is that an oxymoron?  LOL.  Also, don’t be a dumb ass, know what the signs are for ‘I’m not in the fucking mood no matter what you do’.

WE ARE Cyclical:  Women are on a cycle, as you all very well know, and that gives us one week, give or take a few days, that we don’t want you near us.  While some of us use that as an excuse, it has been said that women are actually hornier when they are going through their cycle.  If your woman isn’t, then try her about 7-10 days later when she’s ovulating.  Our bodies are machines and our hormones ensure that we are giving off plenty of pheromones during the time we ovulate so that the male can sense it and come calling.  Some of you men, think you sense it all the time but that’s probably one of your issues.

In conclusion, spend some time tonight thinking about your ‘ significant other’ and trying to figure out what category they fit into.  It’s not just about us ladies, men fall into these categories too.


*Photo courtesy of Forbidden Fruit NYC 

One Response to “WT Horney”

  1. Anonymous October 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    After my post, my mother sent this to me: “Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!”
    Anyone wondering where I get it from???

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