Tough Enough???

26 Apr

It’s been almost two weeks since I decided to do the Tough Mudder on May 4/5 in VT.  I screamed out to the world(or at least my small WTH fan base) that I was tough as nails and ready to hit the ground running (literally, I’m not a runner  so this was a big part of the training I knew I’d have to endure).  While I think I’m in pretty decent shape and strong for a woman, I hit a few obstacles in my training and started to come up with a list of why i’m just NOT tough enough for the Tough Mudder:

Should I do it???  Let me know what you think.

WTH

Tough Mudder… Ready?

6 Apr
It’s 4:40pm and I’m sitting on the train heading back to PW. I have just sprinted from 27th and 5th to Penn station in ballet flats carrying a 15 lb pocketbook on one arm and my Lululemon bag holding my 6 inch Camuto heels in the other hand. What would have made this story more impressive is if I sprinted to Penn in the 6 inch heels.  However,  I made it in a record 9.75 minutes and was even able to toss $2.10 to the Hudson News lady behind the counter while grabbing a water on fly.  I am now sitting down and have little sweat beads dripping down my…..
That being said, earlier this morning, I mentioned to my girlfriend that we should seriously consider doing the Tough Mudder coming up in early May in VT.  If you don’t know what the Tough Mudder is, check it out.  My sprint to Penn gave me the motivation I needed to get my training started.  Tomorrow, I am going to attempt to run 3 miles on an incline at the gym in the morning and see how I feel afterwards.  I’m also going to see if they will let me carry a 20 lb log into the building so I can see if I can run uphill with it while ducking under live wires of 10k volts, swinging from greased monkey bars over freezing cold water, scale a 12 ft wall covered in mud and run through fire.  In hindsight, I may have been suffering from Sleep Deprivation when I made the call to partake on this adventure this morning.  Of course in my friends finest hour of ‘I’m a competitive psychopath and there is no way Hayley is doing this while I stay on the sidelines’, she decided to email her sisters and talk them into doing it as well.  Great. With my psycho-competitive nature, there’s no backing out now….. and now that all of you have read it, ugh, now what…WTHayley
(post some comments if you think we should go for it…. maybe we’ll name our team ‘WTHayley’)

TGFM – Thank G-d For Monday

2 Apr

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about as my second ‘coming-out’ blog post.  Well, today provided me with some good amunition (I said good, not great, so don’t let this one deter you from ‘Following Me’).

I spent a lovely evening in the city last night for a friends 40th birthday.  The party started at 7pm and by 10:30 we were getting kicked out of the party room for the next party to set up. (That’s when the people in their 20’s rented the place out – depressing, eh?)  Knowing that Sunday was going to be a day of full on ‘motherhood’ with no help, no breaks in the action, no back up or quiet time, I decided to be a responsible adult/mother and convinced myself around 10pm that I should stop with the cocktails and have an early night.

While blissfully enjoying my heightened anabolic state, I was jolted awake at 4am by my ‘needing to use the potty’ 2 yr old, followed by a 6:30 wake up from my 4 yr old wondering ‘mommy, is it too early to ask you to use your iPad’. (Side bar: my 4 yr old will stand next to the bed breathing loudly and making little noises until you ‘wake up on your own’ to her face so close to yours that it literally scares the shit out of me every time)  So much for a restful night.  The day didn’t get much better – crankiness, tantrums, excessive snacking – and then there were my kids.

I finally had enough, put the kids to bed early, poured myself a glass of wine, turned the laundry over and sat down on the couch to snuggle up with the last chapter of  my favorite BDSM character, Christian Grey.  (For those of you who are living in a bubble and have not yet heard of the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James – Christian is the heat-in-the-sheets in many women’s bedrooms these days.  And there was no way I could possibly make another post without mentioning him).   Needless to say, I didn’t get through the first line when I hear the little one at the top of the stairs crying for me.  I emerge to find her soaked in peepee from head to toe, bed saturated and her favorite blankie in desperate need of a spin cycle.   Can’t wait to get back to work tomorrow.   Thank g-d for Monday.  WTH!

What The Hayley

22 Mar

Welcome to What The Hayley.  I was sitting in the bathroom at work just now and I decided that I need to start a blog.  Why?  Here are my reasons:

1) I have a lot to say and think people might want to hear it

2) I can be pretty funny sometimes

3) One of my new years resolutions for 2012 is ‘to get published’ and here I am (does this count?)

A little about me that you might want to know….
I am a Mother (of 2 gorgeous little girls).  Grew up on the South Shore of Long Island in a beach town with two older brothers – I think this is where I learned to be a cool chick.  I love anything outdoors – biking, hiking, water sports – but my biggest love in life is Skiing (in Utah).  I love my wine, dancing, partying, fun with friends, great food and amazing desserts(key to heart).  I’ve had my own business for 10 years and we’re still standing strong.  I love what I do and find it challenging every single day.  I’m grounded, have incredible family values and embrace all that life has to offer. (I might throw up on myself now)  Enough…. read my blog and you’ll learn more about me.

Before I forget, my funny story of the day is this….
As I mentioned, I was just in the bathroom – literally 3 minutes ago.  It’s an office bathroom shared by my 12 employees and the legal offices across the hall from us.  Every now and then, I’ll have to go so bad that I can’t be bothered to tear off a few strips of paper to line the seat so I’ll just sit.(i know, gross!!)  Within seconds, I’m usually regretting it when I think of the overweight (i’m being nice since this is my first post) guy across the hall that might have put his ass down moments before me.   Today, when I entered the bathroom my ‘I HAVE TO GO’ index was about a 4, leaving plenty of time to line the seat.  (Tangent: Why the FUCK can’t men put the damn seat down.  Thankful that we only have three in the office but I believe that not one of them ever considers it.  I promise to focus on this in a future blog and even conduct interviews from my small sampling of the male species in my office to find out why).  Back to the point…  So as I was lining the seat, I noticed that in front of the bowl was a small puddle of what I have to assume was someone’s ‘MISS’, leading me to ponder how this happens.  Either your stomach is so fat that you can’t see over it, your penis is so small that you have trouble aiming it or you just don’t give a fuck if you hit or miss.  WTH!

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